Am I being too generous?

[inthemistsoftime]

I have one dc who suffers quite badly from asthma and is very often hospitalized.

H and I separated about 6 months ago the relationship is mostly amicable.

However h has a problem dealing with the fact that when ds is poorly that we have to cancel all plans. He has booked to go away this weekend and is fairly pissed off that he may have to cancel his plans.

I am used to coping with the situation and have a support network around me who are only to willing to help should I need it. (However sick children are always worrying)

H when he does come around generates so much negative energy that it creates more problems than it solves, so from my prospective I would prefer that he wasn't there!

My sil and most of my family say that by not having him around to help out is letting him walk all over me, and that he should accept that he has a responsible to his children.

He is in a very pressurized job/environment and I believe that he is suffering from depression, but again family says that he has got to recognize that he needs to get help and that I should not have all the responsibility for him.

My question is am I a walkover, a caring individual or just plain crazy?

I am feeling very confused right now and would like other peoples perspective on my situation.

You are not a walk over.

If he is of no practicle help, then don't rely on him. (Which is what you are doing)

I can understand why family etc are saying otherwise - but I just think they are saying this to try and be supportive.(Obviously it's not helping!)

I feel guilty for not needing him, as he is in general a good dad.

I have no option but to keep him informed of when ds is ill, as soon as that happens he turns mega negative. But ds can be very seriously ill and I would hate that he was not there for him if god forbid the most terrible thing happened.