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Original poster

DH away but HE is not happy with MY babysitting arrangements

42 replies

Pagan · 14/04/2005 15:39

I'm a bit miffed at this. I have had only one night out with no kids in the 3 months since DS was born.

I've just signed up for a yoga every Thursday evening for 8 weeks, each class lastin 8.30-10.

As it happens my DH is away for a long fun filled weekend started on the Thursday my yoga class starts. I don't mind this but friends of ours have offered to babysit to allow me to go to the first class. Great I thought, but DH is now sayinh that he's not comfortable with this as (his words) "DS tends to cry a lot" and it's too far for them to travel for 2 hours babysitting (they live about 6 miles away)

This was my reply:

No disrespect but that's easy for you to say. You were quite prepared to ask MY sis in law if she would look after DS so that we could go to a party with no kids and that would have been for a longer period of time and she had only offered to look after DD. So why the change of heart?

I didn't go chasing anyone to babysit or drop hints so if someone offers then I think it's patronising to then go and say that we're not comfortable with it and to assume that it is too far. If it was too far then they wouldn't have offered.

I don't mind missing the first class if there was no-one around but when someone has actually offered I think it would look even more silly to say well DH wasn't happy about it, yeah he's the one away for the weekend and who spends a lot of time away with work. I on the other hand, was fine with it, yeah she's the one who has had only one evening away from the kids since DS was born and has been left alone to look after them quite a bit.

I'm just saying it as I believe others would view it. If you were in my position then you wouldn't be so judgmental about who could and could not look after kids to allow you your time.

How do I make him see that he's being unfair and making me feel like a total dogsbody whilst his free time is unaffected?

OP posts:
LeahE · 14/04/2005 16:40

I agree with tarantula -- it's him who's taking an entire long weekend away without making any babysitting arrangements. If he's not happy with the arrangements you've made then he can stay home with DS instead (given that his concern isn't about whether DS will be safe or anything like that, in which case his opinion might be worth taking into account, but about appearing to impose on your friends). Frankly even if it were imposing you need to be able to rely on someone if your DH abandons you for a weekend of fun.

Blu · 14/04/2005 16:47

Pagan - his behaviour over this babysitting sounds a bit dysfunctional or odd, tbh. 6 miles is nothing. Friends help each other out by babysitting. Surely he trusts his frinds, doesn't he?
You need this time to yourself, and it would be a terrible shame to miss the first class.
Don't ask him to discuss this with his colleague - you have made the arrangement, nothing more to say.

Who does he think he is to try and pull his weight over arrangements that you have made that don't concern him???

HappyDaddy · 14/04/2005 17:19

Tell him if he's so uncomfortable with it he can do the babysitting. But of course that's out of the question, isn't it?

I agree with the goolie and arse action.

Mud · 14/04/2005 19:05

OMG what a complete arsewipe

RTMTMML · 14/04/2005 19:12

I agree. If he doesn't like your arrangements then he should stay home.

Let me know when you need some suggestions for where you should go on your long weekend.

Bl**dy arse!!!!!!!!

Caligula · 14/04/2005 19:23

Another vote for him to stay at home and look after his own kids if he doesn't like the alternative.

LGJ · 14/04/2005 19:28

Well actually I think you should stay at home......log on to QVC and max his credit card for every hour he is away, not just your yoga time.

Fill the house full of shite.

WideWebWitch · 14/04/2005 19:30

Agree with Blu and Twiglett (re goolies) and Caligula. Hmmmm.

kama · 14/04/2005 19:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

RTMTMML · 14/04/2005 19:45

PMSL @LGJ

Nome · 14/04/2005 20:53

Where are Willow's bricks when you need them...?

Original poster
Pagan · 15/04/2005 09:22

An update folks. He came home from work last night looking very sheepish, sooking up to me and being very nice as he obviously knew he was being a w*ker. His first words were well the babysitting is sorted out to which I replied you mean you've discussed it with your colleague and he's told you you are being a total w*ker then.

I'll never know exactly what the colleage said but I'm sure it would have been straight to the point. It just pi**es me off that my DH is of a mindset like that in the first place.

Also, I went out last night to the pub with my pal and left him to mind his children. Deliberately didn't take expressed milk out of freezer for him, left the dishes, left his trousers hanging on the line and just went!

OP posts:
Kayleigh · 15/04/2005 19:22

Pagan glad he has seen the error of his ways. And really hope you had a good night out.

Thomcat · 15/04/2005 19:24

LOL, good for you Pagan. I think I feel one of those 'sod you' nights coming up myself!

Mud · 15/04/2005 19:25

Hoo-rah for Pagan .. good on ya gal

did he cope??

Original poster
Pagan · 17/04/2005 10:02

LOL Mud!!

He actually coped very well (annoyingly) and DS even slept for 6 hours - he must have drugged him

OP posts:
Willow2 · 01/05/2005 19:57

Nome - just noticed your reference to my bricks... they haven't been out for a while but are there if anyone needs them.

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