Is this a really bad "I never want to see you again" or an "I hope we are still seeing each other next year"-am sadly thinking it is the first as opposed to the latter!

[Pawslikepaddington]

I went out with some of my friends at the weekend, and the one I have liked for about 6 months came home with me (dd was at her dad's for the weekend). I really really like him, he talked to me all night (almost at the exclusion of everyone else), and we ended up escorting one of his friends home as she was too drunk to manage, and had a really nice evening (if that is the right thing to say!) whilst looking after her until she fell asleep. However, she had managed to lose his house key (long story) and I offered him my room while I slept in dd's room. I was quite drunk, and was coming on to him quite strongly by the end of it, but he seemed to be reciprocating. Anyway, I didn't sleep in dd's bed, and the next day sent him a message asking if he would like to come over and I would cook for him sometime (he shoots game, so I said I would cook it if he skinned it first). And the reply?

"Heh (that is the bit that worries me-it feels like he is laughing at me!!) thanks. Season over now alas so will have to wait until next year". He hates me doesn't he? I feel so used!!! (even though 99% of this was initiated by my desperate fancying of him and he basically just went along with it ).

Oh paws it doesn't sound great I think we've all been in situations like this at one time or another! No advice, only sympathy.

sorry

why are men like this

I dont think he hates you at all, if he did, then he wouldnt have bothered to reply to you.

His reply to me is a kind of thanks but no thanks.. I think as women we would probably have fluffed up the reply a bit more, but men aren't generally as sensitive.

I had a bit of a bad weekend as well...shall we just blame the alcohol (am thinking of not drinking again, or certainly not multiple sambuca shots............)

Oh god dammit! He was really nice too!! Does it help that he sent me his number as soon as he got home? No, it doesn't does it? Boo! Boo to all men!

He doesn't hate you. He just, by the sound of it, doesn't want a relationship with you. Chalk it up as a good fun night and put it behind you - you didn't do anything wrong by wanting a shag and having one. It's unlikely that he thinks badly of you or any sexist rubbish like that, he probably thinks, nice girl, nice shag....anyway, what socks shall I wear today?

He he solidgold. I just keep getting really annoyed that the majority of the girls around me (I'm still early 20's) are constantly picking fights with the guys, falling out with them because they did this that or the other wrong, getting paralectic whenever they go out, being generally mean and irritating, and the boys are falling all over them and they are never without boyfriends, whereas no one wants me and I am (well, in my opinion anyway ) fairly sensible. Humph!

You are within your rights to feel humph - totally
I know exactly how you feel actually - that was me before I met DH. I don't really understand the logic, but it goes both ways. How many men moan that women only like the bastards?

Giving you his number doesn't exactly fit the profile, but I think you're right to reject it as evidence that he's interested in a relationship.

You know it might just be a matter of fact reply to you suggesting that you could cook game at this time of year, and nothing more. He might have thought it quite witty. Wait and see if anything else happens before you write things off, but accept that it might just have been a one off event, a product of circumstances and nothing more.

Check out a book called 'He's just not that into you', the film is out this week but I haven't seen it.

Its really worth a read, but the gist of is this - if he is into you and having a relationship with you enough he will let you know. Simple as that.

A guy who does stuff that makes you want to analyse every last thing he says and texts isn't being clear and isn't that in to you. It sounds depressing, but it actually releases you from all this questioning and lets you get on with having a fab life and makes room for the one who is interested in you ( and you him!).

It seems that this guy isn't being clear in what he wants. Its only been a few days, so if he comes back to you with a suggestion to meet up, then go for it, but otherwise, don't worry about it too much. Chalk it up to experience, and move on.

Hope that helps.

Paws, do you think maybe you're a bit too keen to Have A Relationship? It can be very offputting (no matter which gender or indeed orientation you are) to have someone kind of jumping all over you when you never suggested anything more than one date or a friendly shag.

I agree with SG. I started sleeping with a guy at work and fell for him pretty quickly but I knew that if I was anything other than aloof to begin with, he would run screaming for the hills. I played it very cool for three months, pretending not to care one way or the other.
We have now been married for two and a half years. I guess I played a better game than him .

Best of luck whatever happens.