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Our friends have split up - do we get involved?

9 replies

crystaltips · 05/04/2003 10:55

A couple we know well ( Mr and Mrs X ) have just split up - as she was having an affair - and got found out.
I have decided not to get involved as I am hoping that they will sort out their problems together - as they have kids.
However DH saw Mr X the other day and Mr X asked me to go and chat to Mrs X as she is feeling isolated and lonely and needs some female support.
I do feel sorry for her - as there are always 2 sides to every story and I don't feel comfortable with her being so "At sea".
Mr X is having lots of support from all the blokes.
What should I do??

OP posts:

Tinker · 05/04/2003 11:22

Erm, I'm not sure I see the problem here. Mr X is concerned about Mrs X and so are you? Well, yes, go and see her, I would say. Sorry if I've missed something here.


Chiccadum · 05/04/2003 11:46

crystaltips, just go and see her but make it clear that you are there to offer support as a friend, but WILL NOT act as a go between for her and her husband, if they want someone to do that they see a counsellor.



crystaltips · 05/04/2003 13:09

Sorry - I re-read it and it DOES look fairly obvious in what I should do - It's just that all our other friends are keeping her at arms length as she is the one who has "done the dirty" so to speak.
What I cannot abide is the whispering at the school gates and the "who's the most injured party here".
Personally I think it's the kids - and even though I am not the greatest fan of Mr X - if they can sort it out - then everyone benefits...

OP posts:

doormat · 05/04/2003 13:16

Totall y agree with Chiccadum and Tinker. Go an see her and offer her support but I would not get embroiled in their problems.Is she still with this other man if not my gut instinct is that they will get back together.Solely because he is concerned for her welfare!! The whispering at the schools gates is nothing. You know yourself that next week the gossip will be on someone else.


crystaltips · 06/04/2003 15:37

I wrote her a long letter and told here that if she needs a shoulder to cry on that I am available for a chat.
Delivered it yesterday morning .... no word yet !

OP posts:

Lindy · 06/04/2003 16:12

crystaltips - you sound like a good friend, I am sure she will be pleased to hear from you; my DH & split up for a while & it really showed me who were 'true' friends, as it happened, we got back together but I never forget the kindness shown from some people - and the total lack of communication from others.


crystaltips · 06/04/2003 16:18

Wow - you have made me feel heaps better. I was worried that the lack of communication on her part means that she could be annoyed that I am interferring. It's more likely that she's too much on her plate at the moment.
Thanks Lindy

OP posts:

jasper · 06/04/2003 22:53

Crystaltips you have reminded me , when I split with my first husband I kind of went into hiding in the early days. Two of my friends sent letters and it meant such a lot to me. ( I have even kept the letters ) I did not reply for a very long time but it was great to know those particular friends were there for me (how I dislike that phrase) when I needed them .


crystaltips · 07/04/2003 18:45

Phew - Saw her at the school gates this morning and tentatively put my nose through the car window. She was really pleased to get my letter and we are going to put a dent into a couple of bottles of wine when she gets back from holiday after Easter.

OP posts:
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