Credit card bill - do I tell DH?

[LightShinesInTheDarkness]

I am in charge of all the money. We have a joint account and joint savings account. Thats all, we don't really have individual money.

I have messed up, not big time, and we now have a credit card bill whcih I cannot pay off at the end of this month, and a small overdraft.

This is partly due to Christmas (still) plus three unexpected repairs on the cars. Plus we have had to pay for our holiday. Plus me not paying enough attention.

We can pay it off over the coming months if I get back on track, but I am so worried about telling DH.

Should I tell or just sort it out on my own. He never looks at the bank statements.

tell him. I assume he was enjoying xmas? I am also assuming the pressies you bought were from him too? He is going on the holiday,yes? Its all joint expenses and its only fair to tell him and then you can decide how pay it off together. I think he needs to be aware the bill is there, even if you have it in hand.

This happens to me from time to time as I am in charge of pressie buying, school trips & expenses etc. When it first happened I didnt tell DH, 2nd time I did and his reply was "I wondered how you paid for everything?"

Better to be upfront about these things imho.

yes of course you should tell him. It's not like you've blown it all on the bingo, is it? Surely he should be a bit more involved and not leave all the worry to you

Tell him...it will eat away at you if you dont. Plus you need his help if you are to get back on track and not make same mistake in the future.

Please tell him. I've just been on the receiving end of this - thought we had no loans at all only to find DH had taken one out to cover CC bills without letting me know. I was really hurt. Especially as I had bought something in the meantime that I wanted rather than needed, not knowing the money was necessary elsewhere.

This was not done deliberately by you, but if it is both your finances he has a right to know. Go to him with solutions (how long it will take to pay off, what you can sacrifice etc), he doesn't have a right to be annoyed about it, so don't let him.

Are you afraid to tell him for any other reason?

Tell him. That way he will know that for the next few months you will be working to get back on track financially.

YouKnow - no, I am not frightened he will hurt me or anything, I just think he will be annoyed and a bit disappointed.

And I feel ashamed for fluffing it up.

You didn't fluff it up. There were unexpected bills just after an expensive time of year. That's unfortunate and completely normal. Tell him, get it over with and then you can stop worrying (bet the worrying is worse than the telling )

Car repairs
Holiday
Christmas

He must realise that these have to be paid for ?

Agree with slam Tell him

tell him and then transfer debit to a credit card that is interest free for balance transfers

yes, tell him.

but i don't think you need to apologize - just explain that unexpected expenses have put you in the red, and this is your plan for getting out of it. can he suggest any cuts you both might make to pay it back sooner?

Oh, the wise women of MumsNet. Thanks.