Would you persevere with this 'friend'?

[FeelingIrritatedNow]

Have name changed since friend is an occasional mumsnetter! I just wondered whether any of you would bother in the following circumstances:

Have known friend a few years, met at postnatal group when we had DC1s. We met on a regular basis in those days due to going to same baby group and had occasional other meet ups too. Were almost getting close IYKWIM. We both had second DCs and inevitably meeting up got harder....but has now, 12 months on, dropped off almost entirely. The pattern is this: If I text her, I get no response. If I phone, phone not answered, I still get no response if I leave a message. Months later, she phones during half term wanting to meet up NOW! I can rarely do last minute since I plan things, tho we do sometimes manage a meet up that way. But if I happen to miss her when she calls to go out NOW then I always call back, or try text, but then get no answer, acknowledgement or reply as before. It is like calling/texting into an abyss. I missed her call yesterday, but texted to say sorry, we're busy...then I called her today to say how about meeting up today...I know I will not hear again for months. Grrrrrrr.

Actually have answered my own question, there is no longer a real friendship here is there?

I don't think I would bother . Doea she ever text you ? Just wondering if she still has the same number . But the other stuff would be enough for me not to bother unless I happened to be free when she rang wanting to meet up .

It just sounds like you have different styles of communicating and ways of arranging things. Try not to take it too personally, some people like me are just crap and disorganised, it doesn't mean they don't like you.

Having said that, you seem like you would get on better with someone more reliable, and chalk this one up to "It was right at the time".

How much do you value/enjoy the time you do spend together? are you making the effort because you feel you ought to and you don't like to give up on things or is there something worth making the effort for.
I agree with BOF - I'm crap at organising stuff too

Yes she texted yesterday to see if I was free, and she has my home number too. Is it just a case of different communication styles? I half wonder that since it was worse before we swapped home numbers, she is particularly bad at replying to texts. But Im not sure I can get past the fact its all on her terms..if I fancy seeing her or my DD wants to see her DD then I will be ignored if I ask. If she is free and wants to see me I feel like I am meant to jump.

Grrr again!

I know it can be hard and a right pain, I have a friend who is like this, perhaps next time you meet up tell her how you feel. I felt like this with my friend and when I spoke to he turns out she had been suffering severely from PND but had kept it to herself, now several years on she can still be a bit hit and miss but we still friends.

Ah muddleduck good question since most times we meet she whinges at me for most of it...I think I am holding on a bit since I am a bit short of mates at the mo but its not really a barrel of laughs when we meet....used to be, but I think she is struggling with 2. Would be happy to support her if she would let me since we all find it hard. The DDs do get on tho.

Should point out Ive not seen her now for probably 4 months. She lives 20 minutes up the road.

Almost x posts crabby since yes I do wonder if she is down...but what can I do if she wont respond?

Or just say "It would be nice to meet up more often but it never seems to work out when I try and arrange a get together - is there a better way to contact you?"
raises the issue withou making a big deal of it.

Thanks for comments, have a bit more prespective now so will try to chill a bit..! Yes muddle I do need to say something light-ish, will have a think. Cheers.