who gets up in the night/weekends to attend to DC

[grouse]

We have an 8 mth old DC...I am on mat leave DH works...I am more than happy to get up with DC in the night and early in the am during the week, but am I expecting too much to think DH could do 1 night/early morning on the weekends?

I always get up for DD, always, always, DD 16 months now and DP has never once got up to her in the night / early mornings.

Annoying!

One lie in each at the weekend - unless either partner has had a particularly dreadful week, in which case that partner gets 2 lie ins. That was the rule in the chez seeker.

same as seeker.

With DS1, we had a similar rule to seekers. However, DS2 has broken that as only I will do in the mornings. So if I want to have a lie in, both DH and I have to get up, then I go back to bed an hour later. Defeats the object really. However, DH is away for 6 months at the moment (Navy) so it's irrelevant really, and I do all wakings. Hopefully by the time he gets back DS2 will be a bit more receptive to Daddy getting up with him!

I forgot - we also used used to divide the weekend into 6 sections - Saturday morning, afternoon and evening and Sunday ditto, and we tried to make sure that each of us got one completely child/chore free section every weekend. Sounds a bit formal, but it worked really well. I was a SAHM and I really looked forward to my night out, or afternoon shopping or whatever. Dp was working hard at a demanding job and trying to be the best father he could be and it gave him permission for some guilt free time off.

In theory, similar to seeker - in practice, DH did (and does, when necessary) more night stuff than me.

He always said that when I was on mat leave, I was working looking after DS all day, and he was working in the office which was less demanding in a way, so evenings and nights should be shared.

He also says he copes better with lack of sleep than I do. This is true.

He is lovely. I feel guilty about it but make sure I do do my bit and that he does get childfree time during the day, though.

Early on, it was 100% me with weekends split 50/50. When DS was the age of your LO we shared both weeknights and weekends even though I was a SAHM - DS was up in the night loads with teething. Now that DS is 2.8 and wakes less often but still loses teddy/water/nightmare it's DH. And DH lets me lie in more often than not at the weekend, ie. he frequently does both mornings. However, I accept he is truly wonderful. I have a rheumatic condition, brought on by the pregnancy and I struggle with fatigue and pain, so we've found this leads to a better situation all round and I can get through the day with DS this way. I know our situation is unique but DH actually loves having the special role with DS - and DS now expects DH and if I go in at night he asks for daddy!

We share. I deal with DD2, 18mo as she is right next to me, but she will be moving to her own room in the next two or three weeks.

DH deals with DD1, 3.2, for the first two or three wakings (she has SN so sleep isn't good), then I take a few turns.

As I am pregnant, DH gets up early in the morning when the girls wake, and calls me just before he leaves. At the weekend he gives me a lie-in both days.

I am very lucky. But he knows I tend to get every bug going if I get too tired, and the day with DD1 is very hard, so I am shattered by the time he gets home from work.

We both do.

We row about it all the time.

I honestly don't mind getting up all week as long as I get 1 lie in on the weekends, but he sometimes forgets this, & if I point it out, he flounces about claiming to get up all the time!! makes me soo annoyed.

When we only had DS, we would get a lie in each on the weekend and whoever was having the lie-in would get up the night before should they need to.

However, Dh is happy to get up in the night in the week for either child.

In our house its the one who isn't very good at pretending to be asleep .

I get up, as DS is breastfed. If we have a nappy emergency then DH will get up, usually when he hears me muttering through the monitor!
We're going to have a go at reducing night wakings next week when DH finishes the overtime he's on atm. For the first week or so, he'll go up to DS in the evening and then if that's working well, we'll stretch it to before 3 and then hopefully all night.
Poor love is going to be wrecked! Doesn't get those lovely sleepy hormones I do.
I am looking forward to lie-ins in the future!

Were supposed to tkae turns to get up a 5.30 each morning when DS2 wakes up for the day but the difference between us is, when i hear him cry i get strieght out of bed and take him into the front room with they spare duvet and we watch cartoons so nobody else gets disturbed, when its dp's turn he leaves ds2 to cry for about half an hour and complans bitterly about getting out of bed and therefor wakes us all up!

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Up to 1 year it was me all night as I was bf, but dh used to get dd up when she woke "properly"in the mornings (usually around at six), bring her in to me for a feed then get up with her. On weekends he'd often bundle her into the buggy and go out and I used to get my head down till eight or so. After she turned one and I weaned night times became dh's job, and will remain so, but once dc2 arrives in June that will again be down to me as I'll be feeding...

We take turns. (DS just about 3 now and annoyingly after blissful couple of years of waking up at 9.00am at weekends he has decided to make a break for it at any time from 5.30am onwards)

My DP had good intentions of getting up in thebeginning but after falling asleep with DD in his arms while feeding didn't trust himself anymore! She sleeps right through now and we take it in turns at the weekend but like Charlieinchains he takes forever to get up and makes such a fuss about it all it wakes me up and takes me ages to get back to sleep! Men!

My DH does all the night stuff even though he works simply because I am a heavy sleeper and he isn't. Even when we swap sides of the bed so he can sleep through the kids realise I'm on that side so they toddle round to him and wake him. He gets really tired and fed up about it but he accepts it because that's the way it is. My DD had a nightmare and she screamed "Dad" because he is always first port of call. I think he loves the fact that he's so needed even though he's away from them for long hours in the day so that's why he puts up with it.

thanks for you posts. We are supposed to share over the weekend, however, my dh never hears dc on the monitor, so I always end up being the one to get up......he says he will do it but that I should wake him.......

definitely do it then! it's much more restful kicking someone else out of bed than getting up yourself. really - you need to stop being a martyr and hand over the reigns.

Me and DH have always shared nightfeeds and weekend 'shifts'.