Calling all only children...

[MrsJoeMcIntyre]

Dh and I are starting to seriously think about having another child. We have one dd, who is 21mo. I am an only child, and have always been steadfast in my determination that I want more than one child myself.

However, I am crippled with doubts about it. I think because I have never had to 'share' my parents, I feel somehow that I am being selfish, inflicting a sibling on dd?

I know I'm being ridiculous, but does anyone have any words of wisdom?

I'm not an only so sorry for the hijack!

I only have one DC and he will be an only for lots of resons.

I'd like to say that those people who have said that having siblings is helpful when parents are older and frail that this isn't always the case. I have 2 siblings and they won't as much lift a finger to help with my parents. Also as adults we have no relationship at all so I may as well be an only. I can't really remember whether or not I appreciated them growing up either, certainly my sister is a good bit younger than me and I was away at Uni when she was growing up and my brother and I didn't 'play' together or anthing like that.

Do what you think is right for you.

I am an only child and have exactly the same worries/reservations about having more. I always dreamt of a large family (3-4) but now I'm not so sure.

I really loved my childhood and I generally find that only children benefit by mixing with (mostly) adults and having one-on-one time. They are further ahead in development for quite a while and usually older in the way they speak and behave. However, most of my friends have siblings they can turn to day and night, rain or shine. It's a blood bond that will never be broken and though I don't miss it, I would like that for my 4 mth old. I also liked their homes, aslways some noise, always something going on

Don't feel guilty, I have two DDs, and I find that the person who misses out the most is me! DD1 and DD2 are very close, to the extent that DD1 openly says that she loves DD2 most in the world, more than she loves me or their father. In return, DD1 absolutely idolises her, and DD1 loves having the attention from DD2. When DD2 falls over, or I tell DD2 off for being naughty - she even goes to Dd1 for cuddles. Of course, they may not end up being all that close, not all siblings are - but so far they have had two years of utter love and affection for each other, and that is a very special thing indeed. DD1 and DD2 share a bedroom - sometimes DD1 climbs into bed with DD2 for a cuddle and they fall asleep together, when I see them like that, cuddled up together fast asleep - I have no doubts that any sacrifices DD1 has made for beine the older sibling (and of course, there are real sacrifices), the cost has already been more than paid back in the love and adoration she has recieved from her younger sister.

Karamazov, can I be nosey and ask how big the age gap is between your dds? Sounds very cosy & lovely.

3 years 2 weeks. Yes, it is lovely to see them, but I am fully aware that I have to take a back seat at times, which can be hard sometimes, from my perspective!