Do I have to return the godparent favour?

[psychmajor]

I put this in AIBU too but wondered if anyone here has thoughts.

I am godparent (in a non religious way) to my friend's baby daughter. I am friends with her dh too so know them both, and was really pleased to be asked though I didn't expect it at all. But we are soon getting my ds christened and I have other people in mind to be his godparents, in part because I don't think this friend would be a good godmother - she has some weird values and drinks too much and I am not sure I want her to be a big influence on the life of my ds. How do I tell her we have chosen other people - do I have to return the godparent favour?

You don't, godparenting isn't usually a reciprocal thing. You choose your godparents, you invite your friend to the christening. You're making it more complicated than it needs to be. You don't need to tell your friend anything about why you haven't chosen her. That's just digging an unnecessary hole for yourself.

no....i'm godparent to 2 friends' children but neither of them are gp to mine. i was asked to be godparent when i was single and childless, i don't know if that made a difference but neither of my friends seem to have been upset by not being asked we still get on well.

Thanks both.

I agree with the others. You certainly shouldn't feel like you should ask anyone. With dd, she has a married couple and a single friend. We happen to be godparents to the married couple's oldest daughter (they asked us first) but that is just because they are our best friends so it made sense we would pick each other.

OTOH, I am expecting DC2 and although we haven't decided yet who will be godparents the chances are it will be people who have children who are christened and neither DH or I are godparents for them.

I am godparent (in a non religious way)
Eh?????