My "Worst Thing" theory

[NotQuiteCockney]

When you get together with someone, listen for terrible things he's done in the past. Know that if you're lucky, if the relationship lasts, he will do something at least that bad to you.

I do take into account circumstances, regrets, and any changes he's made to his life. But I find this rule is pretty reliable.

The guy who threw someone's possessions out a car window at speed, he was a bit of a dick with me. The guy who hit his girlfriend (and was deeply deeply ashamed of it) didn't hit me, but he did get v angry somewhat randomly. And so on.

Does this rule work for others?

aww i would LOVE to meet you BoF.

im in teh same situation reality. I was single for 4 years after a really shitty relationship. I wanted someone in my life but i wasn't desperate.

Its still reasonably early days with Dp but he makes me happier than i have ever been.

And I've spoken to reality's ex. he really is a wank stain of the highest order

oh dear

I have done some pretty stupid and gruesome things in my past

I put it down to immaturity and lack of self-esteem

I have acquired those things with age and experience, so hopefully am a nicer person

but then again...

none of them included abusing another person though, only myself

Ah, well, things you do to yourself are a different thing, I think. (And, anyway, you regret doing these things.) I really think only things that hurt other people count.