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Relationships

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Original poster

How/When did you know your dh/dp was THE ONE ?

29 replies

metrobaby · 03/04/2003 12:59

I was just wondering about this one when talking to a single girlfriend of mine ...

I always thought it would be love at first sight when I meet my DH (it wasn't), I'd know immediately he was THE ONE (it wasn't), and that I'd end up going out with him for at least 2 years before I married him (I didn't).

For me, although I fancied my dh immediately , the love element came after a few months. I think I only ended up knowing he was THE ONE after 6 months of knowing him - and I ended up marrying him after we'd only known each other 16m. We're v happy though ..

My mate reckons she'd know if her DP/DH was THE ONE instantly.

I'm nosey know about other mumsnetters experiences

OP posts:

ninja · 03/04/2003 13:23

It's 10 years on and I still haven't married him (next year though) and I'm sure that there are times when we've both queried if we were the one, that can make it stronger in the end though.

There was an instant attraction though, more charachter than looks.

I think that so much of it is where you are in your life in relation to the other person. We both wanted to go travelling (and did for 2 1/2 years!) - if one of us hadn't wanted that it would probably have all ended and where would I be now?

Frieda · 03/04/2003 13:24

At the wedding. As I began repeating the vows after the registrar, I suddenly found myself thinking "Oh gawd, I can't back out now!"

lucy123 · 03/04/2003 13:34

dp was a friend for two years before becoming db -didn't even fancy him really.

can't say when I knew he was the one. A good few months into our relationship at least and I had lots of doubts for a few years. Perhaps that's not usual though...

Nutjob · 03/04/2003 13:37

My dh and I worked together, and were always good mates, however, one or both of us was always in a relationship, so it never occurred to us to be anything other than mates. Eventually, we were both single and everyone at work used to say jokingly, 'You two should get married, you act like an old married couple already!!'. We were both nervous about starting a relationship with a workmate, so left it as it was for a while, but once we finally took the plunge we never looked back and were married 2 years later!! He definately is THE ONE, it just took me a while to realise!!

jac34 · 03/04/2003 13:58

I think I'd say,I thought DH was "the one", within a week or two of meeting him.
I was not looking for a partner,had just bought my first house, had loads of money and was generally enjoying myself.( Oh, also hated children, NEVER intended to have any....Ha Ha)
Along came DH, very young child and mad ex in tow. Not really what I was looking for !!!!
We met on the first Bank Holiday in May, he proposed in the August !!We lived together for another 2 years before getting married, but there was never any doubt, even though his ex ensured our first few years together were very stressful !!

prufrock · 03/04/2003 14:21

I met dh in the 6th pub of a 17 pub crawl. I knew he was "the one" by pub 10. I practically moved in with him that night, but officially did when I gave up my flat 4 months later. Two years and 2 days after we met, he propsed, and we married 10 months later. In the last 7 1/2 years I have only doubted that I wanted to be with him once, and that was when I was in an enraged hormonal pregnacy state.

Batters · 03/04/2003 14:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Batters · 03/04/2003 14:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Crunchie · 03/04/2003 14:55

I was 'love at first sight!' girl. I met my dh at 8pm (he was working behind a bar) by 2am I knew I wanted to be with him, by 4am I realised I would marry him!! We married 2 yrs later and 5 yrs on I sometimes wonder what on earth I was thinking, but daily things remind me he is THE ONE. We have been through a lot of c**p, mainly his mental state so I have regretted it, but also know I made my decision for better or worse the day we met, and I still stick by it!

kaz33 · 03/04/2003 15:22

When I met him we just talked and talked and I knew there was something about him that made me want to see him again. After a couple of weeks of sort of seeing him, I remember we had a telephone conversation when I wasn't happy about something ( I can't remember what ). Ten minutes after putting down the phone he rang back - he said he just wanted to check I was ok as he felt there was something wrong. There was, we spoke for 2 hours. That was when I knew this man was special...

When did I know he was the one? Well he's the man I want to be with and am bringing my children up with it - but I don't believe in fairy tales and once and for all endings. If you work at it and are lucky then you get it - must admit I'm pretty hopeful as like a good wine he just matures with age !!

susanmt · 03/04/2003 21:46

When I met dh I was 18 and he was 19 and it didn't cross my mind at the time that we would get together. We became very good friends (we were living in the same halls of residence at university) and used to sit up to all hours just talking. We got together eventually about 7 months after we met. After that I don't think I ever doubted it would be forever. He says that three weeks after we started going out together he was watching me when we were out for a walk and through his mind floated the words 'this is the woman I want to be the mother of my children' - and that was 'it' for him.
Sounds incredibly corny now. We've been together for almost 13 years now, and married for just over 8, and (even cornier) it just keeps getting better.

Chinchilla · 03/04/2003 21:50

I have never known! We have just drifted along, and seem to fit ok in most areas. He is not romantic, and I am. He makes fun a lot, and I am sensitive. However, we enjoy doing the same things, and generally get on very well, except when I am getting depressed! He is supportive if anyone other than him hurts my feelings.

I'm with Kaz - I don't believe in love at first sight. Love takes work and compromise. If you work hard enough and are lucky enough, you will make it.

miggy · 03/04/2003 22:29

I met DH at his housewarming party, a friend of mine had moved in with him as a lodger. We went out 2 nights later with mutual friends, I drank too much (partly being set up by friends) went back to his house and spent most of the night lying in his downstairs toilet being sick. He was really sweet but I thought I would never see him again (not my most glamorous evening!). He came round to my flat the next day though and by the end of the week I had moved in! Married 2 yrs later and been married 14yrs. Neither of us are remotely romantic but I think we both just knew we "suited" each other. Even now at times when he is driving me mad, I cant think of anyone I would rather be married to. ( I drink less these days too-oh the student life!!)

zippyb · 03/04/2003 22:35

DH just wouln't go away!! Really I tried as he would tell you himself but he thinks I'm wonderful (he should see a doctor really..) and loves me and sees something in me that I fail to find in myself - oh dear that sounds a bit deep for me..!

jasper · 04/04/2003 00:30

I'm still not sure he is

cathncait · 04/04/2003 01:43

My dh and I were friends mostly because I was freinds with his sister (although I did fancy him a bit straight away!). We had known eachother for about 11/2 years when we were going out one day with a group of friends. The rest of the group didn;t show up so we went on our own. All of a sudden, when we were out alone (nothing romantic - a car show!) I realsied he was the one for me...so did he. He actually proposed to me that afternoon and we got married 8 months later. We will have been married for 9 years this year!

SimonHoward · 04/04/2003 07:33

My DW decided I was the one for her on the first time we met but decided not to tell me how she flet as she was scared of driving me off.

Me being the trusting man I am when it comes to the ladies really believed her when she said she was only moving in with me till she could afford her own place.

God was I gulible.

For me it took monthst before i thought of her in that sort of a way, but I'm glad I did otherwise I'd never have had my DD.

Rhiannon · 04/04/2003 07:43

9th anniversary yesterday, very happy.

We met at work and I always felt that I our personalities were fairly well matched. We have the same outlook on life, same politics, united front with the kids.

We don't really argue, only have diagreements that are usually about money. We both have our own space, he always encourages me and is never critical.

Anyone been sick yet?

JayTree · 04/04/2003 07:59

When we met we didn?t have any massive jolts of lightning zoom around the room or any cherubs floating from the ceiling but despite this it didn?t take long for us to mvoe on from friendship...

Although we were both very committed from early on I was ready to commit much earlier than he was. I had to hang around for the penny to drop for nearly five years!
Now I realise that he needed that time to work it out for himself but it was hard work and sheer belief in the relationship (bloody mindedness) that helped me stick at it. Very irritating though when he now has the nerve to say if he had known how great it was to be married and have a family, he would have done it years ago!!!! He spent too much time worrying about "providing" for me and having a secure job blah, blah. Oh well - it was worth it in the end.

EmmaTMG · 04/04/2003 10:51

We met on holiday almost 8 years ago and told each we loved eachother after 2 days. As soon as I said it I thought 'oh s*t what have I said' he said on about the 6 day that one day we would be married and I thought 'oh s*t I've got a right nutter on my hand here' we also argued alot an that holiday.
Anyway the first time we were due to meet after getting home he missed his train and arrived about 30 minutes late. I was trying to phone him and as I dialled the number I turned around and saw him walk out of the station. I knew then, that very moment, that everything we said on holiday(excluding the drucken obsenities) was true and we married 3.5 years later. He absolulety drives me mad but we worked so hard at this relationship in the early days, he was half way through a 4 yr Uni course 250 miles away, that I'm sure we'll be together until we're old and grey.

breeze · 04/04/2003 11:26

Met and married DH after 5 months, I knew he was the one after 2 weeks together. I had thought I had been in love before, but as soon as I feel for DH I realised it was like nothing I had ever experienced before.

cathncait · 04/04/2003 11:59

gee Breeze! and I thought we moved fast!

Scatterbrain · 04/04/2003 12:55

Definitely love at first sight for me I'm afraid ! It was the first night at university on an organised halls of residence pub-crawl - I saw him and told my room-mate that I'd just seen my future husband !

I was already seeing someone else, and before I ended that he started going out with someone else too - so it took us until Januray to get together - but we haven't been apart since - 15 yrs together, 10 yrs married. Not always a bed of roses - but he is still THE ONE !!

Meid · 04/04/2003 14:38

I met DH in a west end nightclub and I know it sounds a bit strange but I walked past him and, although the place was packed, he was all lit up and I could see no one else. He saw me too, stopped me, introduced himself. When we got talking he told me where he was from and he was stunned that I had heard of the place. He isn't from the UK and when I was at primary school I did a project on his country, including a massive chapter on the small, dusty, sleepy town he grew up in! At that time I was strangely drawn to the town, I even asked my parents if we could move there! I somehow never forgot the place and always knew I'd visit one day which I now have a few times.
I'm probably sounding weird now and and perhaps trying to read more into our meeting than there was, ie. thinking that we were meant to be!
In answer to the original question, I think it was the 2nd date when I knew he was the one. I was meeting him at Piccadily Circus and I got off the tube and could see him across the road. I was only 5 minutes late and he was looking anxiously at his watch. I don't know why but it just made me think "this man cares" and it was then that I realised there was much more than fun going on between us.

oxocube · 04/04/2003 16:04

We met on a blind date (organised by DH) as we had a mutual friend. I knew on 2nd date that he was 'the one'. On 3rd date he proposed and after discussions with my parents we became engaged within a few months. We did wait a couple of years until we got married though (he was still at university). Don't know what exactly told me he was my true love, if such a thing exists, but I know lust came into it as well as the fact that he was clever, witty and made me laugh. I suppose we also shared lots of values/ ideas about family and had similar goals. (what happened )

15 years down the line I am still amazed that everything worked out - it could have so easily been a disaster, but young love and all that .......

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