I'm not sure if my feelings on this are reasonable or not, but I feel so p*ssed off with DH that I need some general opinion.
As some background, last year I admitted after 20+ years that I had been sexually abused as a child. Our relationship had been suffering and things came to a head. I spent sometime in counselling and have had a real breakthrough in all sorts of ways. I have been starting to learn to feel less self conscious and more relaxed about sex. I thought that DH and I were closer than ever.
Last night DH told me that he was upset that I didn't enjoy oral sex (giving or recieving) and it's starting to bother him. He told me that sex has become 'samey' (i.e predictable) and that it's not turning him on enough.
His concern is that oral sex is one of my 'issues' and I need to learn to get over it. In fact it isn't something I have a real hang up about - I just don't like it that much. The problem is that DH feels that there is something abnormal about the fact that I don't like it, and it's something that I have to do something about.
I'm angry because:
1)He won't accept that my dislike/lack of interest in oral sex is not something I need to 'get over'. It's my body - I am allowed not to like certain things.
2)Having spent the last 4 months trying to feel relaxed and happy about sex, he has suddenly piled a whole heap of pressure on me again.
3)Having learnt to enjoy sex again and start to feel a real connection with him, he delivered a huge slap to the face by telling me it's not enough to keep him interested.
I don't know what to say to him. More than feeling angry, I actually feel depressed that after all we've been through he can't just let this go. Surely we can't be the only people in the world who don't have oral sex?