Just need to let my thoughts out.

[SammyK]

My relationship with my DP is well documented on here, we are currently still together but floundering, both trying but sad and distant.

Waiting for relate appointment knowing we can't possibly afford it (we have just had our joint account frozen), and wondering if we can get things back on track. There is no passion, we have both lost confidence, and I just feel so lost, like I got on the wrong train and can't get off, and have no idea where it is going.

I keep swaying from we can make it work,it's worth saving, to why didn't I just leave, why did I stay and say we would work it out.

Also, I have a crush on someone.

I just feel all over the place and can't see the wood for the trees.

To start I think you need to put your crush for this other person to one side while you are all over the place

How long until your relate app.? i think you will have more of an idea where you are both heading once you get some councilling, then if you do decide to part ways, you need to concentrate on being alone for a while before acting on your crush

Sorry your having such a bad patch, it is awful to be in limbo about a relationship, hope you both get to relate soon

Yes I know the crush is not helping, and I know I am attracted to crush as he is always there for me, compliments me, is tactile without me feeling put upon, generous, makes me laugh - things I am not experiencing in my relationship (some of them I never have, some have just been neglected, or evolved).

We DO need relate but I have no clue how we are going to pay for it. I was crying the other day about getting food in and DP had to cash a cheque, so not really top of our priority list in terms of financially. Not trying to put forth a sob story, just showing we genunely can't afford it. Do relate have a minimum payment you can make??

Relate does have a concessionary rate, but I don't know how low they go (friend got half-rate for a while).

Re the debt - do you have an action plan for that? Have you seen CSA or someone to make sure you're talking to the right people about arranging appropriate repayments?

Our finances are being sorted yes, but there is no quick fix solution, will take at least a year to get back on track.

When Relate get back in touch I will ask about their rates.

Good luck with it all
xx

Thanks, we need it.

I honestly don't know if we can make each other happy anymore. It's harder as we don't argue, neither of us are arguementative which in our case means things have been bottled up, resentment has built in and so on.

Plus don't know if I can trust him.

So sorry for your situation. I'm sure Relate will help you work things out, and I hope you and your DH can get stronger from this.