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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationship has gone very stale - Its a long one.

4 replies

lauraloola · 11/02/2009 10:22

I have been with dp for 6 years. We have a 8mo dd. For the past few months it has started to go down hill very quickly. I find myself hating him now and thinking of ways to end it once and for all.

Trouble is I have done this before and then miss him and tell him we should make another go of it! The last time was when I was 7mo pg with dd.

TBH I dont think I have ever really loved him. I love him as a friend but am not interested in the physical side of things. He has slept on the sofa since dd was born and now we cant share a bed as we both snore and dd is a bad sleeper.

Any advice. Does it get better as los grow up. Dd is a very sleeper at the mo which is taking its toll on me as dp doenst help.

I used to have a lie in on Saturday mornings until 10.30am which really recharged my batteries but he now says 9.30 is late enough!! This morning he left his shirts in the washing machine for me to sort out (I told him to only put 1 in last night as I knew it would be me sorting them out) so I put them on the carpet and walked over them a few times before putting them in the tumble dryer! Its petty things like that I am doing to get to him.

Please help!

OP posts:
NotQuiteCockney · 11/02/2009 10:35

It sounds like you're really struggling. The first year of having a baby is hard, but this sounds like more than that.

What was your parents' relationship like?

I think counselling, maybe on your own, might be a good idea, to figure out what's going on here, and what you want ...

hertsnessex · 11/02/2009 10:39

Don't give up just yet.

Everyone and every relationship goes thorugh rough patches.

I imagine you have lost yourself and he has lost the woman he fell in love with as the demands of a baby and the new roles you both take on can be confusing for all.

Can you get out together? Counselling for you/him?

I think you really need to get back into the same bed - where does DD sleep?

Look after and take time for yourself aswell as your DD.

lauraloola · 11/02/2009 16:49

Dd starts the night in her cot then comes into bed with me - We are supposed to be getting her out of that but I am so tired its easier to have her with me.

Counselling is a good idea although Im not good at all with telling people my feelings etc.

OP posts:
NotQuiteCockney · 12/02/2009 06:32

Well, counselling would help with that.

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