Sent a valentine. Now what?

[critterjitter]

How long do you wait before giving up?

Hi xxx

It was great seeing you the other night at xxx's place. I wondered if you fancied a drink sometime, say next Wednesday? I know a really good bar at xxx.

Let me know if you can make it.

critterjitter

There - you have expressed interest without being stalkerish, given him a date so that he can tell you if he is or isn't free - if he isn't and still wants to see you he can say how about Thursday - plus a place that you like which makes you sound social and decisive.

Cut, paste and fill in the xxx's. If he asks, just say that your friend told you where he worked and you wanted to contact him without putting him on the spot (but he probably won't).

If he liked you as much as you liked him, he'd be trying to find out your phone number and asking YOU out. He'd find a way if he liked you enough. Sorry.

Oh, what a mean thing to say. Just because he isn't actively pursuing her, doesn't mean that he would be repulsed by the idea of a drink with her. It's a little bit old-fashioned to sit and wait to be asked, surely?

Don't be put off, cj, just get in touch one way or the other and find out. As I'm sure someone must have said already, it may feel like a bit deal, but it really isn't.

haven't read the whole thread but could you add him as a friend on facebook?

Potential win: Life long happiness and relationship
Potential lose: mild humiliation
As above, contact him email/phone whatever
Life is too short
Good luck
GDIT

Do you think a text would be too cowardly?

He's definitely not on Facebook. Checked that one! [grin} He is on Friends Reunited.

Beautiful. Normally I'd agree. However, he's fallen out with his best friend's wife (the woman I'm friends with) and so doesn't have as much contact with the couple as he used to. He'd only be able to get my contact details from them, as he doesn't know where I live etc.

GreatDadinTraining. I don't so much mind the humiliation of being turned down by him , as the double humiliation of him turning me down and perhaps telling his friend (married to my friend) that he's done so. Thats why I'm being a bit tentative. I actually saw his friend today and he was VERY off with me. Made me wonder if something has been said about the card.

critter - I am in a similar situation but a bit more complicated. I have a good friend who is really into me, but I rally fancy his mate .

I think his mate likes me (possibly), but I darent do anything about it, as if he turns me down I am sure he will tell my mate, and I think that would end our friendship. Also, as my friend does really like me, his friend may not want to do anything to risk his friendship with him (a long story, but that is the impression I get, and I dont want to go into how I know...)
I dont want to risk our friendship, and have been trying to make it clear I only want to be freinds but we dont see each other very often to get the message across iyswim.
I am in a dilemma about what to do too.

so just to let you know you arent alone

Text is fine. Stop agonising over it and just get on with it.

Email or call him, the worst thing that he could say is "No thanks". Then you can move on.

At least you will know then, and there is no way he will know the card is from you as it is highly unlikely you are the only woman he has had contact with in the last six months.

Men are not psychic!

Good luck