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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Pervin mervin

11 replies

Tiredmumno1 · 10/02/2009 14:17

Hi all, just wanted ur thoughts, my partner and i have been together 7 yrs and have 2 young so sons, he seems to think it is ok to ogle woman constantly, from the mums at the school, to the females walking down the road, the ones in the shops, and it doesnt just stop there, he is always on the look even whilst watching tv and newspapers and magazines. I hate it. What do you all think.

OP posts:
PuzzleRocks · 11/02/2009 09:56

Have you discussed this with him?

2manychips · 11/02/2009 10:51

My dh is exactly the same, one time he actually turned round in the street to watch a girl while I stood beside him. It gets to me sometimes but I cant change him and everything else between us is good. How about you two?

motherlovebone · 11/02/2009 11:15

i would be uncomfortable. there is a dad like this at the school, he gives us all the creeps. its very inappropriate.
have you told him how you feel?

SeeEmilyPlay · 11/02/2009 11:29

This sounds naive, but he may not be aware that he is doing it. I caught my husband ogling a girl the other day and I asked him if he knew her! It soon woke him up.

Original poster
Tiredmumno1 · 11/02/2009 13:37

Everything else is fine between us, he knows its a problem, he just tries to joke about it but when its constant it gets annoying. He says he knows he has a problem but just cant change. It makes me feel so unattractive and not appreciated

OP posts:
Flightattendant12 · 11/02/2009 13:39

There's a duplicate thread in relationships if anyone's interested, just thought I'd say. More replies on that one

Flightattendant12 · 11/02/2009 13:39

Oh sorry TM1 you're here anyway

you might get different replies here

ThumbLoveWitch · 11/02/2009 13:44

not "can't" change, "won't" change. It isn't a problem for him, it is for you; and he is not showing you sufficient respect by persisting in doing it when you are together.

You could make it his problem as well by ding any number of embarrassing things like saying loudly "Yes, she DOES have bigger boobs than I do, doesn't she", or something.
Or you could start ogling other men and see how he likes it.

ThumbLoveWitch · 11/02/2009 13:47

not "can't" change, "won't" change. It isn't a problem for him, it is for you; and he is not showing you sufficient respect by persisting in doing it when you are together.

You could make it his problem as well by ding any number of embarrassing things like saying loudly "Yes, she DOES have bigger boobs than I do, doesn't she", or something.
Or you could start ogling other men and see how he likes it.

ThumbLoveWitch · 11/02/2009 13:48

sorry computer playing up.

Original poster
Tiredmumno1 · 12/02/2009 01:48

Thanks guys its so nice that u care, makes me feel less alone :-)

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