I was so drunk I kissed a girl in front of my DP :(

[Namechangling]

I am expecting to get flamed for this so please, feel free. Oh, and I'm really not a troll either.

Me and my DP have been together just over 2 yrs, we have a DS, aged 1, together. We have had our problems, as have most new parents I'm sure. We have been to relate, mainly due to our frequent rows. We have talked about splitting up many times. We both have our faults. He is pretty unhelpful around the house, rarely picks up a sock unless I nag and nag and nag. I get stressed with the constant picking up after him and this is probably what most of our arguments tend to be about. I wish I could be less bothered by the mess and wish he could be tidier and help more but this is what we hope Relate can help us with.

We had arranged a rare night out together Saturday night and we had a babysitter overnight for the first time. I was really looking forward to some couple time together. Anyway, to cut a long story short, I got so drunk that I ended up snogging a girl in front of him in a bar. I don't fancy women and I have no idea why I would do such a thing. I can't actually remember doing it but I do remember the girl. He said one minute I was talking to her and he looked round and we were snogging. Needless to say he is gutted and is accusing me of cheating. I feel like such a bitch and I HATE cheating. I can remember the end of the night and DP literally dragging me home. I can't remember actually getting back home though. I am even wondering if I had my drink spiked. He is actually being OK with me, though I am fully expecting it to be thrown in my face in every future disagreement.

I'm not even sure what posting this on here will achieve but think I just want to get it off my chest. I'm too ashamed to talk about it in RL, I can't believe I would have cheated on my DP

Hmmm, this is a tricky one. Men generally don't know what to make of women, after all we can be very touchy around each other, holding hands, hugging and kissing etc. So whilst he may be bloody annoyed, he might not be making a big deal of it because possibly he thinks that perhaps some girls do this and it means nothing? After all, look how many celebs are spotted snogging each other full on without being lesbians.

I doubt your drink was spiked, I think that the alcohol just caught up with you. But certainly I doubt you were the one to initiate that. It must have been fairly obvious to this other girl that you were blotto and she clearly knew you were there with your dp, so she is more to blame than you.

You cannot remember the kiss. So I would just shrug it off, perhaps even have a laugh about it. Remind your dp that you were drunk and you were vulnerable, so really you were under his care. This girl took advantage of that situation and as you can't remember, you can't really blame yourself.

Just watch what you drink in future and try to have soft drinks inbetween the alcohol. Don't beat yourself up, your dp is being cool about it which is great.

at kerry!

You were not spiked, just smashed. There are worse crimes!

Lol at twims. Beat me to it.

Sorry OP

Hope you can both see past this. Many of us have done things we regret while under the influence.

wonder if a man posted "i kissed a girl in front of DP" you'd all say.ach well,dinnae worry

well actually,you are a silly drunken arse,who cannot hold her drink

no excuses
no whining if he recalls when you argue.hell you have given him enough ammo
your drink probably wasn't spiked.

lay off the alcohol if you cannot control your impulsive dumbass behaviour

Unless you swear off the drink, you can't say this will never happen again. I just don't drink outside of our home anymore because I can't stand the next day of analysing the stupidity of my actions. As others have said, imagine the roles reversed! Not nice.

IS it cheating if you did it in front of him?

It does sound far more like drunken pratting about than 'infidelity, boo, waaaaaah! So actually your DH needs to take a deep breath and decide to forgive you and make an end of it. Not to throw it in your face constantly and call you a 'cheater'. People who are so insanely monogamous that they think daft behaviour like this entitles them to punish their partners indefinitely are not really fit to have relationships.

THough I do wonder if this is part of your ongoing relationship difficulties - does he think he's your boss or your owner in general?

people who go out and get munted,snog someone else should expect some angry repercussions

not just hey maaaan lets not get heavy.or oppressive or owt.generally in a relationship one doesn't snog someone else.

yes some folk do

but in general,not the done thang.

she is a cheater.

not advocating 24/7 berating or wearing the scarlet letter but also not acceptable to expect your partner to put up and shut up

if you cant hold your alcohol or control impulsive behaviour.lay off the booze

do you plan to snog more people if you and DP have more hard times?

maybe this is indicative of a deeper malaise

"not advocating 24/7 berating or wearing the scarlet letter but also not acceptable to expect your partner to put up and shut up"

i do find it odd also that some are trying to use the fact that he's pissed off and hoding it against her as evidence of a controlling and opressive man trying to keep his woman under his control.
i mean FFS she got hammered (i'd put my house on not spiked) and kissed someone else. i think he's got every right to be pissed off and get f-ing angry.

If I did this dh would be pleading with me to do it again!

me too chipmonkey...! mine would think all his christmases had come at once...