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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How to seduce my DH?

19 replies

redhotredhead · 09/02/2009 09:57

So our sex life is not what it once was and we have fallen into a pattern. He is always too tired in the evening. School mornings are out. So he usually attempts a fumble on a Sat or Sun morning while kids (5yo twins) are in front of tv. Invariably we get interrupted. Add erectile dysfunction into the equation and it's a recipe for disaster. Last time we had decent sex was 2 months ago in a hotel (had rare overnight babysitting) with aid of bottle of champers and a viagra. It was fab. But I can't wait for one or two nights a year like that. I would love more sex in our lives. Have suggested "date nights" where we deliberately put it on the agenda and go to bed early but he moans that he hates the lack of spontaneity. Everything else is fine -we get on great. Oh only other thing is he has a daily w*nk in the shower which I think might be best reduced a bit so he has a bit of love left over for me! What do you all think? How to make him want to make love to me? And delude him into thinking it was his own idea ?!

OP posts:
starbear · 09/02/2009 11:48

Can a Gran or sibling take kids for a night so you can be at home?
Read him a dirty story from playboy, if they still do them but pretend it was in Cosmo.
I think the wank in the shower is just to release some tension but not bother with the time consuming and disappointment of sex.
Must go as Ds is poorly.

Dropdeadfred · 09/02/2009 11:49

does he explain why he wanks in the shower?

redhotredhead · 09/02/2009 12:09

Yes I think you are right, Starbear. Although he has always been a daily wanker since I've known him, even when we were having much more sex. I'm not bothered about it at all except that I wonder if he would feel more like it with me if he would just leave himself alone for a day or two!

Sadly the overnight babysitting thing is a rare treat as we have no family for hundreds of miles and there's only so often you can ask friends for the sleepover favour. Anyway I want to get it sorted as part of our day to day lives IYKWIM.

OP posts:
muffle · 09/02/2009 12:22

Straight after DC go to bed can be a good time - everyone is tired by the time they fall into bed late at night. Strip off to your nice matching undies (yes, cheesy but it does work IME), and have his viagra/booze/whatever will help handy, and tell him you fancy it right now. I think most men respond well to being wanted. Or, if he has to be deluded, prance in in your underwear and say "I got these new pants, what do you think, are they nice?"

redhotredhead · 09/02/2009 12:27

LOL muffle! Why the hell didn't I think of the straight after putting kids to bed option? Duh. Will try that definitely. Thanks

OP posts:
BlueSapphire77 · 09/02/2009 12:28

A bit of reverse psychology there

OrmIrian · 09/02/2009 12:30

Yep I agree that the prancing around in knickers does the trick. But TBH our eldest is now 12 and doesn't go to bed till quite late now - so time is even more at a premium.

springlamb · 09/02/2009 12:42

Yes, the 10 o'clock special was our 'staple diet' for years. Kids a-bed, errands done, 10 o'clock special, cup of tea, bit of telly, up to bed.

Also, you don't have to tell him it's date night you know. You can loiter upstairs once the dc are in bed and make a grand entrance. It does take some courage, I'd recommend a glass of wine upstairs beforehand. (And if you don't usually wear heels, be careful coming down those stairs!)

fattiemumma · 09/02/2009 12:46

get a viagra pill, drop it into his beer/wine/juice. make sure its a night you know you have plenty of time but he doesn't realise you have planned.

or

if the children are at school all day, get yourself home, get into some sexy undies and then ring him at work. tell him you want it now right now. you cannot wait for tonight. beg him to come home and give yo a good seeing to.
the childrenw ont be there, its has the added excitement of being extra naughty as your bunking off work for a bunk up, and its certainly spontaneous

starbear · 09/02/2009 13:20

Problem with phoning at work, if things are stressed at work and he doesn't come home. You'll be in a furious mood, I know I would be. Find out want naughty type women your man is into. It doesn't work for my DH as he doesn't like chat BUT Boy! did it work for alot (sorry, I mean a few other men)
My fav stories
I'm in a netball team and you've come to watch then we all have you in the shower) Idea of you touching another woman's soapy tits works.
I'm a police woman and your a burglar. I've caught you in a very big mansion type house and you've used my handcuffs on me.
The classic I'm a french maid and I'm cleaning the bedroom while you watch me.
Should I go on?

redhotredhead · 09/02/2009 14:41

No, No, starbear, I get the idea!

Wtf is "jack russelling" bluesapphire?! Do you mean I should start rubbing myself up against his leg while he's watching the telly?!

Thanks for lots of good ideas!

OP posts:
AnyFuckerForAShiteSoppyCard · 09/02/2009 14:41

stop it, star, stop it

< goes off to text dh that its "date night" toooo-nigghhht >

redhotredhead · 09/02/2009 14:42

Actually as the whole viagra things is out there in the open - anyone else used it? Been able to give it up after a while because not needed any longer?

OP posts:
AnyFuckerForAShiteSoppyCard · 10/02/2009 20:09

oh dear, you killed your own thread

I have no experience of Viagra, sorry

PussinJimmyChoos · 10/02/2009 20:13

Its the wanking....he needs to stop it and then he will have the desire for sex! I would be so cheesed off if DH wanked on a daily basis and I wasn't getting any

PMSL at 'daily wanker' though...

AnyFuckerForAShiteSoppyCard · 10/02/2009 20:16

I don't think my DH wanks when I am not participating IYKWIM

can't be sure of course, but I would be a bit peeved if I knew he was and our sexlife was not up to the mark

bigTillyMint · 10/02/2009 20:18

Is your DH a bit older? Just wondering if it would be normal for an older man to need viagra?

PussinJimmyChoos · 10/02/2009 22:41

I think most men crack one off on the quiet but don't admit it to their other halves...its no frills, no foreplay and no bitching about the wet spot after - suits the lazy feckers down to the ground!

starbear · 11/02/2009 09:13

I sometime have a little play on my own I think its natural. Doesn't every body?

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