What do you consider essential in a good relationship?

[Leka]

My partner and I are going to couples' therapy next week and I am thinking about what I find to be essential in a good relationsip. I think repsect is number one. Any thoughts?

trust
equality

trust and honesty

i would agree with respect. if you both respect each other then there would be no need for mistrust

By respect I mean respecting the person that you are. I get the feeling my partner blames problems in our relationship on my basic personality and if I could just change then everything would be fine.

As well as all those already mentioned, the ability of both of you to keep your sense of humour when things aren't going so well.

When the two individuals coming together are well balanced and love themselves first.

And just find each other irresistably sexy, hot, funny and fascinating

Honesty, monogomy, a spark, humour, friendship, trust. Being a team, backing each other all the way all the time. Having your own little world that no one else gets.

Couldn't have said it better if I'd tried Sully!

What sully said. 'Tis perfectly put.

The same values and the same hopes, dreams and expectations. A good sense of humour also helps (and would certainly help DH who is in A Bad Mood at the moment as he has a cold )

Dh and I were talking about this recently. One thing we realised we did little of was communicate. We have resolved to spend time away from kids/house/distractions and try and go out for lunch or a coffee or something once a fortnight and just talk. Made loads of difference.

friendship and laughter

'be nice to one another'...can't go wrong if you stick to that!

and a sense of humour!

Trust
Mutual respect
Caring, really caring, about one anothers feelings and wellbeing
Regard for each others opinions
Honesty
A sense of humour
The possibility of admitting your wrong without fear of being derided
Willingness to say sorry
Ability to accept one anothers imperfections and see beyond them

The intangibles - love, that need to be near them and have them near you, excitement (that faint leap when you see them after a while apart), wanting to tell that person when something exciting happens, wanting to tell that person when ANYTHING happens

Are all of them essential? I don't know, I've had most of them with previous partners but have them all with DH - some need more 'effort' than others though especially with 2 small versions of DH running around.

Hope your counselling goes well

trust, humour (having the same waped soh helps in our gaff), appreciation, respect and the same aspirations.

Pheebe's list sounds good to me. The hot stuff is nice of course, but I think relationships can survive beyond that; I know couples who can no longer have sex for medical reasons and still have a very strong relationship, because all the essentials are there. But I don't think sex can save a relationship that is lacking in basic trust and caring.

Completely agree, Cory. My friend's husband had to have his leg amputated after he was in an accident, so obviously sex was off the agenda for a long time. Without the essentials - communication, trust, friendship etc - a relationship cannot function, but it can function without sex if circumstances dictate.

honesty, trust, willingness to compromise when needed, communication, friendship.