I have realised over time that my husband has always been depressed at some level. He just gives one word answers to comments I make, doesn't show normal enthusiasm about silly things. A black cloud comes over me and the whole house when he is due back home or in the house.
He does have fun moments, we can sit round together and watch Top Gear with the boys.
I'm looking forward to the bright day when I live separately from him. I have separated myself off mentally in loads of ways, but am still scared of his disapproval and keep silent about my real thoughts.
I get all happy about Christmas or a birthday, he just trudges on, up early, back late, going for long runs, barely looks at his mother when she comes in for a chat.
The approach I take now is to be my very best friend, to choose not to go down with him. I have said that dealing with dark thoughts is a very common part of being human, loads of people tackle this, but I'm looking out for myself. He asked if I had given up on him, I said I had decided to take care of myself first, keep a certain distance.
LOOONg post, sorry. Tell me about how you are dealing with your situation, or not dealing with...