god that sounds so pathetic but it is what it is.
Background: Been friends for 5 years ish. Met her through dh not long after we´d started going out and the 3 of us were very close. She met a guy and they got married a couple of weeks after us. Her relationship hit some rough times and they separated before their 1st anniversary and the divorce came through a wee while ago. She hooked up with dh´s best mate and they now live together.
A few years ago a seasonal position came up where i work and am the only full time member of staff, I hesitated at working so closely with a good friend but she really really wanted it. felt I would be a crap friend to put boss off her so backed her. She did 2 full seasons and then this one just past didn´t pan out as planned and boss let her go, very suddenly and tbh rather harshly imo. But not anything within my control, it was purely company economics though boss could have been more sensitive as to the manner in which she did it.
Friend basically then ditched me. Said it was all too hard for her, too close to home etc etc so i gave her the space she obviously wanted. Summer went by with little contact. Eventually I made tentative overtures which were met with mixed response, sometimes dead friendly and genuine and then she´d not return my calls or whatever. When i eventually called her on it we had a very strained conversation. I thought she was peed off because i might have inadvertantly backed off too much but quite the opposite. She seemed to blame me - without actually saying so much. And saying she was the hurt party, i should understand. Which i did, to a point, that she was hurt, but why did that mean we couldn´t be friends??
Anyway since then (about september??) we´ve had infrequent contact and again always mixed, sometimes friendly and then followed by very cool - taking a week to reply to emails (when before we emailed/texted very regularly) and not answering the phone (used to always answer or at least get back to me straight away).
It´s hard because she was a good mate, we hung out a lot and more complicated now that she is with dh´s best mate. It makes things hard for them and dh feels that it is affecting their friendship. i should add that she has a history of falling out with people and getting all bitter and twisted about it, bitching about them to anyone that will listen and she finds it very hard to let go of stuff. i always knew she had this side and used to jokingly (ish) say to dh, it´ll bite me on the arse one day. ha. ha.
So I know it is her problem. i´ve done nothing wrong. Yet i feel really hurt. And dh and i both miss his friend/her bf. i hate to think of what she WILL be saying about me to him and everyone else.
Don´t know what i want anyone to say really, I know the answer is just ´get over it´ but it does play on my mind. How can i make myself not care?!