Remove sex from a relationship, then add money problems, I think the relationship is on a course for a disaster and truly committed people manage to survive.
Rather moan on here than to someone who would give you a cold shoulder, it's better to moan on here. one way or another, the expression gets out. I can't guarantee an answer, but someone might have a suggestion that might make a diffrence. obviously the more info you give, the easier it is to identify a problem or more specific problem.
When you want a person to take notice of something (I am implying you but using the principal in general), you want to make that something desirable and attractive. You want to make that something - something special and unique.
There are ways to dress "somethings" up. A surprise can be dressed as a gift as in present.
A something might have a value, so you put it in a safe place and use it when you know it's not going to go missing or get broken.
I am sure there are other examples that can be mentioned, but the concept stays the same.
If a something is always there and getting in the way, do you really want it? No, it keeps getting moved to one side or another place.
While I was reading your post, I was thinking about when you and he first met. If you cast yourself back to that time and think about how the man saw you. Perhaps he saw you as young, innocent and you were wanting to run after him all the time. Perhaps you were keen to please him? In any event, the man remembers you in one way and thinks you will stay that way. People change. A man who doesn't change that easily tends to be much slower to change, so the steps need to be smaller.
Keep in mind that if you want to change one thing in a person, those changes tend to change other things as well. You might get the person to act more caring but if the new caring feelings feel artificial, do you want those artificial feelings or presentations?
Sometimes it's easier to find ways to work with what you have and look for ways to minimize what you don't like.
At the moment you are at a disadvantage. Your options are not good at all because any change you apply is permanent and very uncomfortable for you. If you did move away from the man, would you want the permanent changes? The changes you feel you can do something about don't justify remaining in the relationship (in my mind). There is more than just the sex issue. Are the other issues going to "go away" if you apply the changes you don't really want to apply? this should be your question