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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

texting an ex you have not seen in 16 years

14 replies

joesy · 06/04/2005 09:59

Dh is going about calling me all the sluts and whores because i had been texting an ex from Jan. It was just a friendship and to get advice. He thinks I have been having an affair and says I have commited adultery. I am at my whits end he has phoned all my family and run me down to the lowest. We had made up but he has started again. I do not know what to do we have 2 Ds. He says he will fight as dirty as he can to get custody of them if it goes that far. I have suffered verbal and emotional abuse from him for years. Is this the end?

OP posts:
JanH · 06/04/2005 10:01

Do you want to stay with him, joesy? I can't think why!

Original poster
joesy · 06/04/2005 10:04

I feel we are togerther for the sake of the kids. I have been sleeping my Ds room for the past year or so. Occassionally I will go into our room.

OP posts:
Twiglett · 06/04/2005 10:05

Don't think that has anything to do with your texts, sounds like an excuse to continue abusing you if you ask me?

Do you want this to be the end? (you should, but do you?)

Original poster
joesy · 06/04/2005 10:05

I am just scared of what he might do if we fall out/ He is always making threats. HE SAYS YOU TREAT HIM BAD HE WILL TREAT YOU 10 TIMES WORSE. It would kill me if he got custody of our two kids.

OP posts:
Original poster
joesy · 06/04/2005 10:07

have been on to womans aid this morning. debating whether to phone a solicitor or not. I know he will not leave the house.

OP posts:
JanH · 06/04/2005 10:07

Well it sounds from what you have posted that the kids would be much better off living apart from him. What's your legal position with your house? Is it rented/owned/joint names?

"Fighting dirty" won't get him anywhere and solicitors are expensive.

JanH · 06/04/2005 10:08

Highly unlikely that he would get custody. Does your family support him or you when he runs you down to them?

Original poster
joesy · 06/04/2005 10:10

our house is owned in joint names but he always talks about it is his house. I have not been working for the past two years. I have been off with PND.

OP posts:
Original poster
joesy · 06/04/2005 10:11

Everyone I know thinks I should have left him years ago. My cpn although she can not diagnose him thinks he has a personality disorder but we will never know as he could never ger mediacally assessed.

OP posts:
Original poster
joesy · 06/04/2005 10:13

He is wanting me to contact orange to get details of texts made. My ex has explained to him nothing has gone on.

OP posts:
JanH · 06/04/2005 10:13

What did women's aid say? Have you tried CAB? I'm sure you are entitled to tell him to leave if he is abusing you - it isn't his house - don't let him force you out.

You definitely need legal advice but it needs to be cheap/free.

Original poster
joesy · 06/04/2005 10:15

No I must give them a ring. Womans aid just offered me courses and somewhere to stay.

OP posts:
toughondads · 06/04/2005 17:26

How many Texts and what was in them.
Your DH must me curious and be feeling betrayed.
How would you feel if it was him texting an old flame.
If you have nothing to hide, contact the phone company and this should satisfy his curiousity.

Original poster
joesy · 06/04/2005 18:28

I have just wote a letter to the phone company

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