Hello girls, I?d like a female take on this one,particularly from girls with a similar tendancy. Although any males out there with a similar issue please feel free to pitch in.
It?s quite simple really, my DW and I are a bit odd. I?m from Venus and she?s from Mars?.. although not always and not in every way. I still retain that age old male trick of wanting to fix things of wanting to provide solutions, my DW still wants me ?just to listen and empathise?. But that?s where it kind of stops. My DW just wants me to ?listen and empathise? when she wants to rabbit on, but she?s not interested or can?t bring herself to be proactive in sitting and talking through the things that are important to her/us and sharing dreams and plans together.
We?ve had a topsy turvy while in the last three or four years, due mainly to family and other crises on her side of things. To me, that's not been a major problem, as a loving partnership you have your ups and downs and you deal with them together ? ? for better or worse? ? that?s what we signed up for.
However, my DW at times like this tends to retreat into herself, shut me out ? and others and makes herself ill and depressed. She can be very stubborn, or determined, or self reliant, depending on which way you want to view things. Normally, my reaction is to try to do the ?Venus? thing and provide her with as much support through listening as I can.
However, after several years and many, many such instances I?m getting very frustrated of constantly providing this kind of unconditional support, whereby I have to try to prise information and conversation out of her with a can opener.
So, the question really is this ? we?ve all read John Grey & Debora Tannen on what to do ?when men won?t talk?, but how do you reverse that and deal with ?Women who won?t talk?