'fashbacks' during sex

[namechange195]

This has happened about 5 times now. Its more a feeling, every is fine one minute then I start feeling really scared, it feels like I am somewhere else but I know Im not. I feel like I want to burst out crying and scream and push dh off, but I dont. I dont know why this is happening although I have considered the obvious but perhaps I am just going totally mad. There is so much more I want to say but I cant seem to say it, basically Im really confused. Anyone have any experiences

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what is the obvious?

Yes.

Is there a particular trigger? It is very common,so you ARE NOT going mad.

Do you have anyone you can to talk to in confidence?

{thoughts}

God, that must be awful. I'm so sorry for you. Yes, the obvious, are we talking rape here and you pushing that into the depth of your subconscious and now it wants out? Agree with posh, is there a trigger? Can you speak to someone about it?

The obvious, that I have been abused but wouldnt I know this? I really dont know what to think, my head is going round in circles and I dont know what to think.
Im not sure about a trigger, all times except one was when he was going down on me which normally I really enjoy.
Dh eventually dragged it out of me what is happening but I have not really talked to him about it probably. I am realy crap at communicating, whenever I am upset, not just about this, I just clam up and cant say a word

How awful for you. Is this a recent thing?
has it ever happened before? Does it happen all the time?

Yes only been happening the past few months and not happening every time

You could of been abused and have completely repressed all memories .I repressed at least 50% of my abuse until I hit my late teens and I too,got the same as you with regards to flashbacks during certain sex acts-so vivid were the memories that I used to physically vomit.

Do you find they occur when you mind feels like it's wandering-you don't feel grounded and like you are watching yourself from the outside?

It is best to talk,but I understand it's very difficult if you are confused and find it hard to open up (I'm much the same (smile))

Remember there is help out there for you.Lots of helplines and support networks/groups.

Have you recently had a baby? It may not be linked to abuse or rape but how you feel about your body.

I would want to investigate further with some professional help, dont let it slide. Hugs.

Im not really sure why it occurs some time and not others.
Even if I get the courage to talk, Im not even sure what I want to say.
How are you coping now poshwellies?

No, been a few years since last baby.
Feel a bit stupid getting professional help, what if it is nothing and all in my stupid head

I'm fine now namechange,although sometimes I still get flashbacks,but they don't frighten me anymore.

It might be a good idea to trace back to when these flashbacks started.

Was anything stressful going on in your life? Any major events that occurred? Nightmares? Something on the news that may have upset you?

I cant think when they started, but will try and think.

I've sometimes had this, not so much recently. I COULD remember what happened in the past, but not all the details very clearly which came back to me during therapy. I think my stuff was less 'blocked' by my brain than other people's because mine wasn't as bad as theirs.

I believe the brain tries to block memories which it feels will hurt you too much.

My bro was abused and only remembered about 3 years ago after some extreme stress and finally getting some antidepressants and some professionals to help him, so I do believe your brain can totally blank it out til years later. I've since read about this happening with other people.

I also believe that when feelings are repressed your body still feels they need to come out and it finds ways to get them out eg flashbacks. It sounds like there are things you find extremely difficult to talk about. This must be because something/s affected you really badly even though you might not realise yet. It might not be something as bad as what you call "the obvious" but it may still have had a huge effect on you (I wouldn't say what happened to me was 'rape' and the abuse was 'mild' compared to other people's but still had a massive effect on me).

I really think therapy would help. I think it will be REALLY hard to make yourself say what you really need to say to the therapist but if you can force yourself to say the things you find the most difficult then things can get better from there (it becomes easier to say then easier to accept, then you can work on understanding what happened and yourself etc).

Thankyou both for your experiences poshwellies and actingnormal

ok been doing a lot of thinking this morning - if I do decide to talk to someone where do I go, gp? Or is there other options?

Yes,gp could be your first option-they can refer you to suitable counselling and obviously it's confidental.

Here's a few helpline numbers and groups if you decide you'd like to talk to someone other than your GP

Wish you the very best Namechange