Is it possible to be friends with someone who always has to be better...........?

[conniedescending]

better at cooking, money management, relationships, being green, organising toys, discipline, cleaning, singing, sex, playing, exercising, philosophy,reading, being spiritual, dieting, pet care, decorating, breastfeeding......umm think thats about it

she is otherwise really nice

Oh, God; my sister. The problem solving as if she is the only one with a brain and everyone should fall to their knees in awestruck appreciation for getting to use it.
I think it is called 'overfunctioning'-like breathing all the oxygen out of a room to the point where no one else can (or would be able to) function.

I can't say anything personal or negative to her because there is a frozen void of empathy-just anaylsis, evaluation and judgement. It has always been that way and my frustration was unidentified until this past year, thanks to MN

If not "fix it", then there is reflexive dismissiveness or ridicule. I told her I was pg (3rd) and she said, "I already knew". She tried to backpedal a bit with "Well, I knew something was up." That was followed up by "don't I know how that sort of thing happens?" veiled as a comment from her "friend", but it was her voice, thought, feeling.

The superiority needs of people like these can drain your self-esteem because they treat you as if you don't exist, you don't have feelings, you are not an intelligent adult. I think they love friends that go 'numb' in their presence just to keep peace and get along-it is like a blank canvas to them-a free buffet of ego fodder. Going numb is a dangerous thing to do, and if done enough, again is very harmful to your self-esteem and can be depressing.

I have set severe boundaries on contact with this sister and feel much better for it.

only if you can put up with being second all the time and you really aren't arsed about it yourself. THEN it is possible to get past it and see the niceness. Otherwise your friendship will be tainted with a competitive, potentially resentful edge.

Spookily I saw the competitive ex friend today and she had on a pair of boots very similar to some I'd recently bought (that's happened before with handbags and clothes).

She rushed over to me and told me what a bargain she'd got - apparently some people are stupid enough to pay up to £170 for these boots and she'd been clever and found them on the internet for £75. I really wanted to tell her that hers were totally fake (they were) and she'd been ripped off but managed to bite my tongue. Made me smile on the way home though!!

In the short term yes, in the long term I don't think so as you get to the stage when the toxcity of the competitiveness is not emotionally worth it

toxicity I mean