Is it cheating lying shitbag season?

[gemmiegoatlegs]

I have read a couple of threads today about cheating OHs only to have my dsis call me saying she thinks her dp is having an affair, the usual symptoms, changing passwords, hidinghis phone, tarting himself up, extreme nervousness. She had the instinct and went home to confront him, she has just sent me a message saying he has confessed, no more info at the moment. i am extremely close to my dsis and just want to drive to her, pick her and my dniece up and bring them home and look after them. I am so sad as I really liked him, he is v charming and good company, they heve been together almost 10 years. Now, though i am dreading her staying with him. She lives in another part of the country away from the family, she has a decent job but not much support. I can understand it must be frightening to think about starting over as a single parent but I am of the 'leave him' school of thought. He has been having an affair with afriend of theirs whose family lives next door to them. I am just so worried

Your poor sister!

I think all you can do is let her know you're there for her. Any decisions about what she wants to do need to be hers and hers alone.

She's lucky to have a sister who cares so much for her and is ready to be there. Good for you.

Give her your full support but do not give her your opionions about leaving him - she will need to get there on her own - at the moment she will want to fight and win him - even if the prize is not worth having in the end.

The best advice i would give would be to either give her some practical support with maybe looking after your neice or maybe arranging something nice for you two to do - a weekend break maybe or a shopping trip somethign to treat her that does not involve him at all.

Wishing her luck and strengh.

So sorry for your dsis. It is good that you are so close that she felt able to tell you. Many people try to get through this without telling anyone.

Just listen to her without making too many judgements. As HW so wisely says, planning something nice is good. Sometimes getting away from things is good, just to try to get some perspective.

And yes, it must be Lying, Cheating Season. Do you think we should have a cull?? It may be the only way to stop them

update - she is leaving him and coming home today. he has made full confession and she can't bear to be near him at the mo. It feels awful, like someone has died. She has got so many decisions to make, but advice taken, i am supporting not giving my opinion.

I'm going to arrange a few little treats for her while she is here, and hopefully she will get through. Its so sad...she didn't even see this coming.

My sister found out that her DP was cheating and I took it really badly! I honestly felt as if the guy had cheated on me.

It was awful and I feel sad for you both just now.

The only word of caution I would give is to be careful not to slag the guy off other then to agree with whatever bad thing she might say herself. In particular, don't say things like 'Oh and I never liked how he used to...' etc, for the reason that they may well get back together and then you will feel awkward about having slagged him off (for anything other then the cheating I mean).

My sister is back with the DP who cheated and they have been really happy ever since.

Good luck to you both.

Gemmie - Just wanted to say also that what your dsis will be feeling is akin to grief because she will be grieving for the future that she thought that she and the dc would have. Everything has altered and the future is now very unclear.

I am 14 months on from her and I still try not to think any further ahead than this week!

she has gone from shock to raging vitriol in the last 2 days. the grief and sadness bit hasn't hit her yet.

There is so many decisions for her to make. I feel so helpless.