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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How do you resolve repetitive arguments?

2 replies

TheInvisibleManDidIt · 12/01/2009 18:28

I mean having the same argument over and over again.

Dh & I are, once again, not speaking because of the same argument that occurs atleast once every few weeks.

He will not take responsibility for any housework. He does not cook, will not do a washing, will not tidy, and maybe once a fortnight will very, very grudgingly hoover for me. Maybe once a week he will clear the kitchen (load the dishwasher). He works full time, mon to fri, and yes does quite long hours. I totally appreciate the last thing he wants is to come in after a 10 hour day to start cleaning and never ask him to do this.

However I do think that if I am working at the weekends, which I do about 3 out of 5, he should at least offer to make dinner, or be able to hoover or tidy up off his own back, without me having to say 'do you mind doing this while I'm out' He says I should tell him what to do, so I've tried this, and it doesn't get done.

I can't speak to him, as he says I'm condesending and nagging , and I end up angry and fustrated at him rolling his eyes and walking away from pulling faces. AARRGG.

Last night was the final straw and I'm tempted to send him round to his mothers for a couple of nights as he only seems to want a mother to take care of him, not a wife to share responsibility with!

OP posts:
TheInvisibleManDidIt · 12/01/2009 19:57

And now he hasn't come home yet this evening. Maybe he's taken himself to his mothers?

OP posts:
cariboo · 12/01/2009 20:00

Next time he starts, say "and will that be just the 5 minutes or a full half hour?"

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