I find it astonishing..

[nearlyfree]

I really do find it astonishing that, although my ex moved out in June last year, I?m not legally allowed to change the locks...He can walk in and out as and when he wants...stay for hours, when I?m not there, using facilities he makes no contribution towards...takes stuff from the house without asking or even mentioning it to me...And I can't do a damn thing about it! All because his name is still on the deeds ...Bare in mind this man is now not working and although was offered a job paying 17k PA, refused it because it would mean him having a daily 40mile round trip! He would rather stay on his £57 a week benefits...cos of course that means he doesn?t have to give me anything...

Im not sure about the law. I know its not ideal but I would put a lock on my bedroom door at least that way he cant walk in on you asleep or undressing and you can keep money or stuff in there locked. Hope you get it sorted soon

if he's on the deeds but on benefit, who is paying the mortgage?

because once he defaults on the mortgage doesn't this mean you have more rights?

In this situation isn't there some sort of court ruling where you are granted occupancy and ex can only come round by prior arrangement?

Alternatively, if he's unlikely to sign over the house to you, could you move elsewhere? If you're married you can still get a share of the proceeds when the house is sold as long as you are registered as an interested party (i.e. wife with children from the marriage) on the property. Best advised to get this done before leaving the property though.

Many solicitors give the first half hour of information free. It may be worth doing your research online then phoning a solicitor to confirm the facts you've found. I think if you want to achieve any sort of resolution with this though, you're going to have to accept that you need legal help.

Good luck.

he has rights to access the property but to do what? get at his property?

this maybe needs to be defined... i moved out of joint owned property with teh kids to rented property. , solicitor advised me i should give 24 hour notice before entering the property where he still living. i do ahve the keys still.

i asked to go round to collect my stuff - he demanded to know what i would take. in the end i gave him a list and he dropped some of it off...

what reason does he have to be in the property? does he still have possessions there? if he residing elsewhere then while yes he has rights to access the property it should be clarified by solicitor letter exactly when and under what circumstances he can go there.

I really appreciate all your comments and advice. I have got a solicitor but we are going to mediation so the solicitor has been put on hold for the moment (tho we did go thru all this before in March 08 and he quit because he decided it was "bollocks") but to qualify for legal aid he has got to go to mediation again...my sols, his sols and the mediator have all told me categorically that I can?t change the locks... Bolts and bars won't do it, his strategy (as far as i know, he still could be coming in and out when i'm not there) is to come to collect the kids while I?m at work and of course he has a key but still they would have to open the door to him...so once he?s in he just makes himself at home...new twist to the story is this morning my daughter told me that he can?t have them overnight on a Tuesday anymore because the traffic is too heavy for him to take them to school (and he is so busy being unemployed he hasn?t got time to do anything else!!) so he will only be having them every other Saturday night from now on...I don?t mind them staying with me but this is from the man who was, a few months ago demanding full custody of them, telling people that I was not fit to look after them

Nearly I am in exactly the same position and am afraid you are right (astonishing yes but legal) - my very expensive solicitor (£200+/hour) has given me the same advice - sit tight wait for divorce and he will get his name off deeds ASAP - but I am in same position where he has kids at my house so needs to be able to get in anyway
And my solicitor has adviced against mediation (says it wont work with him being so controlling and irrationa) and he is right - so via solicitors to start and court if need be - quite gklad I dont have to face him in mediation TBH!
Good luck!!

Why don't you post on the legal matters topic and see if one of the lovely lawyers there can help?

I can't believe this can be allowed. Hope you get something sorted.

And I like custy's parctical-yet-devious suggestion.

macdoodle i know exactly what you mean...we are now only doing the mediation because he HAS to, to qualify for legal aid...i won't sit in the same room as him we have separate appointments...he too is irrational and controllin going as far as to demand more than half of the assets effectively leaving me unable to buy another property and finacially unable to rent...i think its 'back to the solicitors and off to court i shall go'

why does he have to collect the kids from your home? why cant he collect them from school? or some place else?

i made big mistake in thinking it was for the kids' best that he visited them at my place...he started making himself at home here ! eg refusing to leave "but i am in middle of watching the football match!" etc.

now he will never enter this home. if he ever picks them up from here he will not be allowed in....