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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Is this illegal?[shock]

32 replies

jollymum · 31/03/2005 13:15

I was chatting to soemone about the caravan with three bedrooms we're having on holiday and debating which of the three kids to stick together. We normally have four of them with us, two oldest boys 12 and 15 together and the two littlies, 10 and 6 (boy and girl) together, twin beds in each room. We have our own room!! However, friend mentoned that she thought as DD is now ten, it's illegal for her to share with her brothers. Is this right and what do you think? She doesn't mind too much at the moment, but is getting very private about her bits and bobs, her "enormous boobs" as we call them

OP posts:
mears · 31/03/2005 13:16

I very much doubt it or I have broken the law too.

lisalisa · 31/03/2005 13:17

Message withdrawn

WideWebWitch · 31/03/2005 13:17

Of course it's not illegal! I think if a council are allocating how many rooms a family need then they may decide that girls/boys ought reasonably to have separate rooms at a certain age(but I'm not sure about that, just a guess) I wonder if that's where the idea comes from?

colditzmum · 31/03/2005 13:17

I think there is a certain age when they can't share with siblings of the opposite sex, but I'm afraid I don't know when it is.

Love the "enormous boobs"gag

SeaShells · 31/03/2005 13:17

I very much doubt it! lol! If you all feel fine with that then whats the problem!

SeaShells · 31/03/2005 13:19

Yes when we recently applied for council housing we got extra points because my dd and ds share at the mo, and they reckon they should have seperate rooms.

leahbump · 31/03/2005 13:19

I don't think so!!

As long as your dd has priority over the bathroom (after you af course ) so that she has privacy for dressing and changing etc...can't see why that would be a problem.

You could always drag a matress off one of the beds and stick all 3 boys together (know it would be a squish in a caravan)!!

DelGirl · 31/03/2005 13:19

not sure it's illegal but I believe the general feeling is at age 12. Presumably you can put all the boys in together?

sacha3taylor · 31/03/2005 13:20

It is 10 for council housing but as this is a perminent arrangement and a holiday is tempory, I can't see how it applies.

coppertop · 31/03/2005 13:21

This is usually only an issue when you are living in a council house. If you let children over the age of 11(?) and of the opposite sex share a room then you are breaking the overcrowding rules. One of the conditions of tenancy is that you won't let your house become overcrowded.

SeaShells · 31/03/2005 13:22

God it's not like they are in the same bed or anything! I've shared rooms with my brother's loads of times younger and as adults!

Freckle · 31/03/2005 13:25

The ballpark age is when both children are over 10, but this is normally for permanent arrangements. I shouldn't think it would apply to holiday plans.

WideWebWitch · 31/03/2005 13:30

What, so I HAVE to legally have a 3 bed house or larger once both children (a girl and a boy) are over 10? Or what? They'll take one away? Give me a bigger house? Come on, surely not?

Toothache · 31/03/2005 13:34

It's not illegal in a housing situation either!!! Just the council recommendation when housing families is to give a house with enough bedrooms for the boys and girls not to have to share after a certain age. I was under the impression it was 12.

It's not illegal though! lol

suedonim · 31/03/2005 13:37

It's just for council housing, WWW, so don't panic! My sis raised a girl and a boy in a two-bed house and nothing terrible has happened to them, I promise.

tarantula · 31/03/2005 13:38

Isnt this only for Council housing??

cos if not Im breaking the law when dss comes round cos he share a room with dd.

mumsyof4 · 31/03/2005 13:43

Sorry to jump in but this made me laugh.I have a 2 bedroom house morgaged to the hilt and have 4 children sharing the largest bedroom .girl 16 boy 13 boy 8 girl 2 the council says as it is my own house we cannot join the housing list for council accomadation due to overcrowding.Please please can someone bring in a law to make overcrowding illegal or shall I just buy a shed

throckenholt · 31/03/2005 13:43

there was something on one of the diy programs a couple of years back. Single mother, son, daughter in 2 bedroom house. They built a partition wall in the second bedroom because "the boy and girl were too old to share" - it implied it was some official age limit. But again - it was a permanent situation - probably not relevant to a holliday let.

stitch · 31/03/2005 13:52

i sincerly doubt it.
i think its just a cultural thing,
i knew someone who slept in same bed as his mom at age of twenty. i thought that very weird.

wordsmith · 31/03/2005 13:57

JM, I think the only illegal thing is sexual relations between siblings, which is obviously not what you're talking about at all!

Of course it's not illegal to share a room with your brother. She might not like it but it's definitely legal!!

Councils allocate housing on all sorts of criteria, and of course most older girls would not want to sleep in their brother's room, so that's whay they'll make the distinction.

FairyMum · 31/03/2005 13:58

Ha ha! I shared rooms with my brothers in our summer house both as child and teenager. It wouldn't suprise me if some pervy MP had passed such a law through parliament while whipping himself with his silk-stockings.

WideWebWitch · 31/03/2005 14:13

Oh OK thanks Suedonim!

Keane · 31/03/2005 14:14

i have shared a bed with my grandmother when I was 18, didnt think it was that weird

colditzmum · 31/03/2005 14:17

LOL fairymum

vickiyumyum · 31/03/2005 14:39

hi mumsyof4 - you have to laugh really, you try and do the right thing, buy your house pay your mortgage etc and then when the housse prices are the way that they are and you can't afford to move even though you are 'overcrowded' theres nothing you can do. i have a couple of friends this has happened to and one of them sold her house and is now renting a larger place because the mortgage company said on their income they couldn't afford a larger mortgage, even though they are now paying the same amount on the rent as a bigger mortgage would be and they have money left over to buy food etc(tongue in cheek!)
i'm sure that its not illegal as there would be many parents who had been prosecuted for this if it was.

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