this happened last night, how would you feel/what would you do?

[supervixen]

I left boyfriend at home with dd and I finished work at midnight, I arrive home at about half 12 and he has left is key in the door locking me out. I try phoning for half an hour and banging on doors, yelling, throwing stones at the window - nothing he wont wake up. No friends are awake, Im stuck outside freezing!

So I called the police and they said they could break a window for me, they eventually come at gone 1am, and we first try banging on doors then we try throwing pennies at the windows. this works and I get in, the first thing i do is yell at him, then he ignores me and goes to bed. this morning after working till midnight etc I have to get up he doesnt offer, he then sleeps till 12 says a pitiful sorry then goes out.Ive been really ill lately and ive still gone to work had to tidy the house, he doesnt tidy up really. not only that he was supposed to be in charge of my dd and what if something had happened, would he have woken up? I dont trust him to look after her now.

Im really mad, sorry this was longer than i thought!

ThePregnantHedgeWitch lol. they have edited their post now.

I always leave the key in the door if we are all in and no one is expected to come in!

ive also done it to him before but ive been awake to let him in.

and he had been drinking so didnt hear the phone etc. anyway.......

skidoddle you're talking utter nonsense. You don't leave the key in the door if someone else who lives in the house has gone out because then they can't get back in. It's pretty obvious no?

If he had been drinking and didn't wake up then that is bloody awful behaviour as he was responsible for a child.

H did this and I had to call the fire brigade to let me in while my dc screamed on the other side of the door having been woken up by me trying to get in.

He no longer has a drink if he looks after them now. It would be a deal breaker if he did. Being drunk while responsible of children not acceptable.

If you are pissed off with him anyway I would get rid tbh.

"Thanks attila, I do struggle with that concept of loving myself haha. I dont know what influence he has over me :/"

Hence my svengali comment.

You should ideally love yourself fully before trying to love another. Love your own self for a change. I'd work on you and your own self esteem and worth; you're doing yourself no favours at all being with a man like this person is. Being with someone who ultimately damages your self worth does you no good at all.

What attracted you to him; did you feel sorry for him or at heart want to try and save and or rescue him?.

Yes it's pretty obvious that those doors lead to the extremely dangerous practise of people locking themselves and small children into houses.

It's no less likely that a fire will break out just because one member of the household hasn't come home yet, is it?

The safest thing for him to have done would have been to have left the door unlocked.

Or really, the best thing for him to have done is to have left the wooden door unbolted, presuming it has a proper latch lock that can be easily opened from inside.

I really don't get how it can be "unforgivable" to not wake up. Some people sleep heavily.

If this is an otherwise stand up guy then I think he got a raw deal being yelled at.

And I won't apologise for thinking that uPVC doors are a blight on the built landscape. They are vile and dangerous. Why anybody would have such a thing on their house I have no idea.

Fleurlechaunte that is awful your poor dc! yes he was drinking, but yes need to get rid really.

Attila - I did fancy him once! I really really did! at first i was the one doing the chasing and he wasnt that interested. then things turned and he was really into me, and then I lost interest :/

He bolted the front door as well? Is that a normal security measure in your house? If not, sounds like for some reason he wanted you locked out in the cold.
Contact the benefits office in the morning about managing when you kick him out, then tell him to leave. If he gets nasty, you can call the police.

skidoodle - he had been drinking. but youre not listening.

youre right - the crime here is obviously the upvc door. thats my landlords choice. not guilty your honor.

ps. i know of a great DIY forum you might like.

yeah the front door was bolted etc, i tried to get in that way! i do that to though, as we use the back door as our main door.

OK it sounds like he was being stupid and thoughtless, not actively seeking to leave you outside in the cold but stil - if it's all part oa a general picture of him being lazy and unhelpful and not very interested in your wellbeing, then you really do need to dump him. Life is tough enough without having a parasite in the house.

Skidoodle you can open the doors from the inside if you need to get out but you need a key to get in if the door is unlocked. I really think you are deliberately missing the point