what do you think of this?????

[mogwai]

I'm 30 weeks pregnant with my first baby and having lots of problems with my back and pubic symphisis area. A couple we are friendly with have booked themselves a long weekend in a cottage on an activity weekend (four nights). After they had booked and paid for the cottage, they invited us to join them and their 20 month old son.

My husband immediately asked them how much the cottage had cost, which was 400 pounds, thus setting up the expectation that we would offer to pay for half. I thought this was unusual, if I had been the one doing the inviting, I wouldn't have expected the other couple to pay anything. We couldn't really afford to go, but after some thought, we decided to accept, even though I can't take part in any of the activities. My husband gave them a cheque for 200 pounds, which they have cashed.

It turns out I'm not sleeping well at the moment, I'm exhausted and I really don't want to go on this weekend break. It will mean sleeping in a smaller bed, and their son doesn't sleep through the night. We have told them we don't want to come, explained the reasons and they haven't offered to give us our money back.

If we had booked the holiday together, there's no way I would expect them to cover our 200 pounds, but the fact is, this is a holiday they booked independently. Turns out we are now paying for half of their trip. My husband works with the other husband. I'm insisting he asks for our money back, we really need it with a new baby on the way, and this couple earn much more than we do.

Am I being unreasonable? How would you approach it?

I think you should get the money back?Had they already booked and paid for the holiday before asking you?It sounds like they had so it was never your holiday in the 1st place i would say you need the money back for when you are well enough to have a holiday at a later date

yes, they had certainly booked it and I think paid for it. They had booked a cottage with two bedrooms and were going to be paying for it themselves until they decided to invite us.

oh dear surely they should immediately offer to return your money? how long have they known you won't be going? I would give them a week to offer to repay you before doing anything.

Then I would decide whether to approach them for the money (that is your husband approach the husband). It may be that they just need reminding to return your cheque.

Interesting you say they are quite well off. My sister had a similar thing with friends of hers who are seriously loaded. She bought tickets for a table at a charity ball and the rich couple never profferred the cash.The sum involved was about 150 pounds but they never offered to cough up.Weeks passed. Eventually she just came out with it and the wife said oh yes I had forgotten about that and went and got her chequebook! sister concluded they were so loaded it did not register with them that others relied on that sort of amount of money

I would instantly return the money. Regardless of who earns more than whom, they are taking a liberty.

I think there's something in that thing about people who are pretty well off. It could well be that it doesn't register with them, but it's so awkward having to ask for it. Perhaps if you have plenty of money you just wouldn't bother asking for it back. We don't see them as a couple very often so I suppose it's up to my husband to ask for the money back. I think I'd handle it better, it would make him uncomfortable, but that's the way it will probably have to be. I think it's a lesson learned; we always pay for things very promptly, my dh was practically falling over himself to write them a cheque, we should have waited and paid them during the trip. They still owe us money for something we bought on our credit card, you can bet we won't be paid for it until the event, and yup, guess who's paying the interest??

Thanks for your thoughts, though. At least I know I'm not being unreasonable before I ask them.