Two in five marriages end in divorce, apparently - so does this correlate with your RL experience?

[HelenBurns]

I was just wondering because although I'm aware the rate is high, I don't know many people who are in fact divorcing or have done so.

Most of my friends are married and seem to be staying that way at the moment. Is it possibly to do with the fact that they have young children - I mean, is it more likely marriages will break down once the children are older?

I'm not sure why I am interested really. i suppose I'd loke to see some hope that things are changing and people are staying together more.

Sounds about right or a little low IME.

Oh gosh.

What's the answer to it though?

You already have to go through a sort of pre nuptial counselling thing don't you? I thought that was part of the church wedding thing anyway.

I can't work out whether people are making mistakes or whether it's just an unnatural thing to be with one person for however many years, and people are just freer to end things nowadays.

I am interested in this - I do wonder about it when people get married, is that awful? Probably partly because my parents' marriage ended in divorce as did DP's, and we aren't yet married though might do it one day.

Among my contemporaries (I'm 39) I know of about 20 weddings with 3 divorces (plus one very long-term unmarried relationship that broke up last year). But, a lot of them are only recently married so it could well go up.

I have been at weddings where I had good reason to believe the groom was in fact gay, where I knew for a fact that one of the parties had serious doubts, and where I had good reason to believe that one of the parties was doing it for ulterior reasons (money, to have children, citizenship). So it's hard not to be cynical sometimes.

I do think in the past, people put up with unhappiness a lot more and for a lot longer. Especially women.

Well, my parents are still married after nearly forty years, and I still wonder.

Although I am never certain how mucht hey like each other!

My parents are still married
DP's parents are seperated pending divorce
Both my siblings are still married
One of DP's siblings is divorced, one married and one is single

So in our immediate family out of 6 marriages there are 2 divorces.

I only know of a couple of divorces in my social circle so far, and both of those were ages ago for their "starter marriages". Of my immediate contempories, no divorces yet, but we all got married about 10 years ago around the age of 30ish, so plenty of time yet I suppose

Out of DH's parents, siblings, aunties and uncles and cousins and same of mine, 13 out of 18 marriages still intact, some after 50+ years!

My grandparents have just "celebrated" their 62nd wedding anniversary. They hate each other. Seriously. They have had separate beds for at least 40 years and can barely say a civil word to each other. It makes me so that they've effectively wasted their lives being with someone they don't even like.

I am divorced as is my DB.

Out of five schoolfriends three are divorced one lives with someone and the other I don't know about.

similar situatio to motherflippin, as in those who got married before age of 25 have now gone separate ways.

i am getting divorced after 2 years of marriage (but 14 together) and dp got divorced after 9 years (married at 21)

Just thinking of my closer friends. Of 6 coupls, 2 divorced - both only a couple of years or so after their marriages despite being together longer beforehand. One had a very young child at the time.

Thinking about extended friends then it probably does match that stat yes, sadly.

Of older family members, many more are still married. Both mine and DH's partents remain married. Two sets of grandparents did, one divorced. Of my 11 aunties/uncles, 3 have been divorced (2 now remained) - 2 with young children at the time; 1 with no children. So the older generation seemed to do better at remaining married IME.

My DP, who separated from his first wife after ten years of marriage, knows lots of people who have divorced - it is pretty prevalent in his social circles. He also knows lots of people in unhappy marriages. This is not at all surprising, since his "social circle" was brought up in an astoundingly emotionally illiterate way.

I have only one close friend who is divorced - but she married young to be able to work in Europe and divorced pre-children.

Yes.

not in my friendship group - not many divorces i would say more one in ten

Two of my five marriages ended in divorce.

it's a shame I can't be arsed to namechange to Henry VIII...

a couple of old friends are now divorced and I have several newer friends who are on second marriages, so yes, pretty accurate I guess. Those on second marriages all seem pretty happy though

snowleaopard dp and I both children of divorce

not married and 20 yrs in NOV since first snog!

I am the only person of all my friends getting divorced. Dont really have much of a choice really, H has run off with someone else. Hoping my next 4 marriages are better

Out of 5 married siblings, 3 have divorced. Those 3 were married for around 10 years, at 25 or younger, children involved in all of them.

Of the 2 that are still married, one married young 22 years ago, the other in 30's 14 years ago. Still going strong.

I was thinking avbout this over Xmas when out of 4 couples four individuals had been divorced and the others had never married.

2 of the divorcees are getting married to each other this year and a couple of never marrieds are getting married. Ages 30, 30, 32, 32 ,32, 32, 34, 44. Pretty variable as to age and length of marriage pre-divorce.

Oh and my ex-h was one of 4 children all of whom are now married for the second time.