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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

what do other people do with all the, probably trivial, family annoyance they feel?

2 replies

vezzie · 06/01/2009 15:15

I am pregnant and not sleeping well.
Spent a few hours last night having a pointless ranty internal dialogue with myself about my BIL.

He has never said thank you for a present or bought me one. I have better things to do with my time in December than think hard of something he might like. This year I bought a very expensive and v. interesting book which I thought would mean something to him for a no. of reasons. I got handwritten thank you notes from my sister, and nephew and niece (really nice!) but if I hadn't given him the present with my own hands, I wouldn't even know if he had it - not even a verbal "ta" on the day. Next year he gets chocolate, if that. (My mum works really hard to get nice and suitable things for him and he doesn't bother to thank her either.)

He didn't help / arrange presents from his kids for their mum (they are too little to get organised on their own). Crap crap crap.

His son has caused concern at school and they are talking about putting him on the SN register. In particular he doesn't listen politely to stuff he is not in the mood for or thinks is not relevant to him. Over xmas I noticed that BIL never listens to anyone else, if he answers them always answers something they didn't actually say, always acts as if people or the business of getting on with each other is nothing to do with him. how can it be surprising that this 8 year old kid is having difficulties integrating etc when his dad treats everyone else as if they are not there, or at least would prefer they are not.

Loads of other stuff....

anyway how do other people put stuff like this out of their minds? I do not have to live with the eejit. None of this is criminal or appalling. I just want to know how not to be thinking about things like this at 4 in the morning.

OP posts:
bigTillyMint · 06/01/2009 15:17

If he has genuine problems with social-communications, he may be on the Autistic Spectrum - sounds like the school might be going down this route with his son?

vezzie · 06/01/2009 15:29

Hi bigTillyMint - maybe, but I think (BIL, not nephew) is just not tuned in to thinking about other people - he lived at home till he married and has an old school SAHM mum who waited on everyone hand and foot. Somehow he doesn't "feel" AS to me.
With the son - I would be less surprised. I hope the school can help him, certainly they want to and are being very constructive.

OP posts:
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