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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How miserable do you have to be to break up a family?

26 replies

lilac21 · 05/01/2009 22:25

I've been married for 12 years, 2nd time for both of us and we have two daughters. Things have been difficult since the youngest was born, she's 9 now, but they have deteriorated so much this past year. He's never been an affectionate man and it reached the point where he didn't touch me at all unless he wanted sex. I don't want to do it but used to go along with it to keep the peace, now we don't do that either as he finally realised how meaningless it was and how used I felt. We seem to have so little in common and I don't get anything out of this relationship, don't enjoy his company and it's getting increasingly difficult to get into bed beside him every night. He's sometimes unpleasant but never in the least threatening or abusive, is mostly a good dad although he swears at the girls and loses his temper with them sometimes. I'm unhappy but I'm not desperate - do I just keep putting up with this until I can't stand it any more? We have talked about things, he says how can I change and doesn't accept that it's too late now. He wants to live together for the rest of our lives, I'd rather be unhappy alone than unhappy with him. He doesn't want to be a lonely old man, but you can be just as lonely living with someone who doesn't want you, surely?

OP posts:
mrsblanc · 31/03/2009 23:49

lilac , you are inspirational and thank you for updating your story.
I do hope it all works for you and you find the strength to get out of your marriage if that is what you decided is truly the best thing.
The flat sounds fab!

Iloveshoesandbags, well done. How long did it take you to actually leave after you made the decision it was over?

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