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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

This is my new thread where I am going to be STRONG.

53 replies

NAB3lovelychildren · 05/01/2009 12:36

I will post crap on here instead of sending any messages.

OP posts:
revjustaisgoingouttonight · 07/01/2009 08:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NAB3lovelychildren · 07/01/2009 09:57

I am not good today.

I have something really really hard to do and wish he could send me good luck.

OP posts:
CountessDracula · 07/01/2009 10:04

"The only way I will ever contact OM again is if I am single and that will mean no Dh so I hope it doesn't happen."

I hope you mean if you are both single

NAB3lovelychildren · 07/01/2009 14:15

So today I am having a really difficult appointment. I email OM as he knows about it. He deletes email without reading so I really do know now he doesn't want to talk to me.

Feel better actually.

OP posts:
brazenhussy · 07/01/2009 14:15

NAB sending masses of 'keep strong' thoughts your way.

If you want to share what you have been through today later on, I will be here and more than happy to listen.

My OM not been in touch since monday morning and for the first time ever, I really feel this could be the end I know it is for the best for everyone but it hurts like hell.

Every day I manage not to contact him, is a day nearer to getting over him and moving on and that is the same in your case too

brazenhussy · 07/01/2009 14:17

How do you know he deleted the email without reading it?

NAB3lovelychildren · 07/01/2009 14:18

I ticked the read option. I sent the emal twice as I forgot to do it the first time. Oh well. Onwards and upwards.

OP posts:
brazenhussy · 07/01/2009 14:29

Painful as it is to admit NAB, you obviously cared for him more than he cared for you. Same for me too

NAB3lovelychildren · 07/01/2009 14:34

I wasn't willing to leave my marriage or cheat on my husband for him, but i was willing to try and be friends. He didn't want that. Never mind. I feel crap that I cared about someone who can treat me like this.

OP posts:
revjustaisgoingouttonight · 07/01/2009 15:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ScottishMummy · 07/01/2009 16:07

why are you still in contact with this man nab.why cannot you block his emails form your inbox

out of interest why do you call him your OM,is that a Freudian slip do you actually consider him your other man

ScottishMummy · 07/01/2009 16:17

toro pushes same as fastfold,essentially same wheels.folds with seat on.but because seat is all enclosed frame seems smaller than fast fold to me

who is selling it for 3102 btw

ScottishMummy · 07/01/2009 16:17

woopsie daisy!wrong thread

NAB3lovelychildren · 07/01/2009 16:21

rev - it was bloody hard tbh.

OP posts:
revjustaisgoingouttonight · 07/01/2009 16:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

honestfriend · 07/01/2009 16:59

What was the appt about- if you feel like sharing?
Do you feel better or worse from not hearing back? (I never knew there was that option on emails- is it all emails?)

If he is treating you this way, do not go near him.

If it is over,then accept that- he may be trying to be just as strong as you are- you don't know WHY he didn't read your email. But he is not your friend now, no matter what you wanted before- so don't burden him with your problems - he is not going to respond.

Try to keep busy- easier said than done. Good luck.

NAB3lovelychildren · 07/01/2009 17:19

At least I know where I stand with him.

Ticked the option to email you when the email is read and it came back to me as deleted without being read. The second one hasn't so I guess he has blocked me. Feel silly for getting into this. I haven't quite managed to delete his last 2 emails but I will.

I really and truly know it is over now and if he does come back becasue he is free TOUGH. He had his chance.

The apointment was with my solicitor and my now barrister and it was 3 hours long.

OP posts:
revjustaisgoingouttonight · 07/01/2009 17:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NAB3lovelychildren · 07/01/2009 17:44

Yep, paying for that plus the 3 hours of the solicitors time!!!!

OP posts:
Fizzfiend · 07/01/2009 17:48

Just one other thought to NAB, Brazen, etc that even though we are all in very different situations, the pain we feel is exactly the same one. It downright hurts, we feel slightly humiliated, very crap, inability to get on with real life (which feels boring and surreal). It comforts me to have people that are feeling that way with me (although I wish you all didn't have to)

NAB3lovelychildren · 07/01/2009 17:49

You are right. It is similar pain and I was really shocked that it was an actual physical pain too.

OP posts:
NAB3lovelychildren · 08/01/2009 07:51

I am SO going to need you guys today.

HELPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!

OP posts:
bellavita · 08/01/2009 08:29

Hi NAB, have things got worse?

cuppa · 08/01/2009 08:30

"I feel crap that I cared about someone who can treat me like this.".

See, I don't get that? Treat you like what?

He's a married man fgs.

He's married to someone else. It isn't treating you badly to drag out a desperate should we shouldn't we, if only if only hang wringing semi affair.

He has chosen his wife.

You say you have chosen your husband.

Well then you really really do need to just get on with it.

You say you will never send another message. Then the next day you email him. Then you get the hump he doesn't email you back.

It isn't rude of him or treating you badly. It's sticking to his wife, his vows, his common sense and his dignity.

It might well hurt a lot. I'm sure it does. But you cannot go on and on and on about what might have been. Do not delude yourself that there was no way he could have tracked you down if he had wanted to. You both had many chances, you've said so. It didn't happen.

You really need to decide once and for all if you want to be married to your husband or not. That alone is your decision. If you decide you do, then you must delete all numbers and email addresses and any other method of contact, you must not contact again and you need to actively push any stray thoughts of him away, rather than passively saying you can't help it. You can help it. I find it unbelievable that you and other people are angry with him for not indulging in this. How many people want their husbands to cheat on them? Because he surely understands that any contact with you would be a bad thing for his marriage. It just would.

bellavita · 08/01/2009 08:41

Cuppa - I think NAB has all the best intentions in the world, but sometimes, they just go out of the window, her heart is ruling all this rather than her head!

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