sorry hate talking about it .sex-not had for year.love husband.

[lovelymumma]

hate bringing this up.wouldn't talk to anyone normally about our sex life,but we never get round to it.We r busy,but I know it's to do with my attitude.My children are getting older and my eldest knows about sex and I worry she might hear and I just don't feel confident with my body anymore.36,almost 37 year old mum of 3.I need some advice.

Hi,doesn't anyone else out there ever have problems with this;or is it too touchy a subject.perhaps normal when u have 3 kids and busy and tired.

I think i must have a patient husband.

jUST HAVE SEX. Don't think and agonise over it, just do it.You might enjoy it once it gets going. Poor bloke, a year is a loooong time to go without a shag.

If you're tired and bhsy, what are yku doing on here? (ASks self the same question).

Sorry am using a tiny keyboard. Should be BUSY and YOU.

listne to Moondog she is right.

Whenever we have 'a dry spell' and I eventually force myself to do it, I think 'oh this is nice, I remeber why I liked this!' and that gets us going again.

A year is quite a long time, but not very unusual, and definitly savable. seize the day! Be off with you

yes use it or lose it.

My exdh didn't like it. Never had and never will. Anyway we're still friends but ex's and I'm with a lovely dp who loves it as much as me

Go for it. He'll be feeling as bad as I did

The longer you leave a problem, the harder the problem is to sort.

Lack of sex in a relationship causes people to feel like they are drifting away. I am sure there are other reasons as well.

You have identified the problem, and it's obviously playing on your mind. The more the problem plays, the more of a distraction the problem becomes.

Initiating sex after a year is going to feel awkward, there isn't a magic want that can wave to resolve that problem. The reality is that you and he must have been intimate many times in the past, so the hurdle can be over come.

If something urgent comes up, you can make time, so time can be made, it's a case of thinking and working something out.

Best to have a think...perhaps see if the "listening child" can have a sleep over and then think about making a few stars come to life that night.

Self conscious can be masked by dark or under a few covers.

Get some new underwear that makes you feel good, spend some time together, have a laugh, get a lock on the bedroom door if it makes you feel better and just relax.

I think getting new clothing is an excellent idea, though I am not so sure that getting clothing for the event of having sex is the best idea (I may be wrong here).

The OP is trying to "kick start" her intimate relationship with her husband. There is a possibility that the first attempt at having sex might fail. Adding plenty of preparation into something that results in failure, tends to make the OP less likely to want to try again (which is not what the OP should want).

A "listening child" having a sleep over isn't mandatory to the OP being intimate, but it helps. The sleep over (at a friends house) can happen whether or not the OP decides to take that first step because children have sleep overs to extend on having fun.

If the husband (for some reason) doesn't want to have sex, he might start to feel that sex attempts are going to happen when the "listening child" goes out for a sleep over, and the husbands reaction might be to nip to the pub for half the night, to avoid having sex. Obviously hoping that it wouldn't be the case is better.

If giving suggestions is considered appropriate, perhaps setting the house up so the OP feels able to relax as much as she can at the first time (in a long time) is best, then getting into bed before the husband, without pyjamas is the next plan (assuming she sleeps with pyjamas).

Good communication is a good idea. When the husband comes up to bed and gets into bet, snuggle over and say that you and he haven't been intimate fora while and you are feeling "in the mood", ask him if he would do the honours to get things started again....and take things from there.

Someone needs to be proactive and initiate something.

The husband is likely to be surprised and perhaps shocked and not know if there is something else he needs to be aware of (if the bloke is unsure).

If the sex doesn't happen, try to keep the progress, so if you snuggled up to the husband, stay there for the night, otherwise you are going back to where you were.

Accept that there might be a few failures and don't give up at the first fall down.

Good luck.