I am upset with my sister over our childrens squabbles

[QuintessentialShadow]

I need some perspective.

My 6 1/2 year old son was out playing in the snow with his 13 1/2 year old cousin, my sisters dd.

My son threw snowballs in her face. She asked him to stop, he didnt. They had a snowball fight.

I told him off.

My husband tried to explain to our sons cousin that what he did was really naughty and he should not have done it. But maybe it was because he is not mature enough to be playing out on his own with another child without adult supervision. He has never in his life done it before, he has only played with other under adult supervision.

My sister comes in, and tells her dd this:
"Look, you dont have to sit here and listen to this if you dont want to. You can just walk away."

I mean, WTF?
Was my sister out of order, or was my dh wrong in trying to explain to her? He was not nasty to her, not telling her off. Only calmly explaining why he thought our son was behaving that way, without excusing him.

Did she get hold of the wrong end of the stick and think your DH was trying to tell her DD off maybe?

Quint, I remember your summer holiday thread - your sister is nuts.

No, both me and my mum told her that he was not telling her off, not excusing our son, but just trying to explain what could be the reason. She just repeated that her dd should not have to listen to something if she did not want to.

I think that is a totally appalling attitude. If you dont like what somebody try to talk to you about, you can just ignore it, get up and leave.

doodle. I guess you are right. It is just upsetting. Again.

Why has your DS never played with another child without adult supervision before?
Not judging, just really surprised.

i am not sure why your husband was telling a 13 yr old that your son shouldn't have been out playing with her.
if you were there, and you didn't think he should be out unsupervised then surely you should have been out there???

i may have the wrong end of the stick here???

she probly got hold of the wrong end of the stick,m thinking your dh was telling her off
but why has your six and a half year old never played without adult supervision? especially with a cousin that much older than him?

Shitemum, we live far away from his school. There are no children in this neighbourhood. We will move during the next week, to a house near his school, with plenty of classmates on our street.

thisisyesterday, in HINDSIGHT, he was not mature enough to be out and play with her unsupervised. Had we known there would be an issue, we would not have let them play out on their own together.

Yes, sounds like your sis was out of order, its a rude thing to teach someone but what can you do?

Your sister is a bit nuts tbh (going by your previous threads) however perhaps your dh should just have said something like "ds doesn't know when to stop yet, sorry you got hurt"

Explaining why doesn't count much to my 12 year old when it comes to her much younger siblings tbh.

Your sister is very strange!

stitch - cousin lives in spain. They only see eachother a few weeks in summer, and a week around Christmas. We lived in London till recently, we live in Norway now (where we are from)

Shame your ds didn't land one on your sis

Yeah, that would be something....

QS! you are back? Happy New Year, and hope you had God Jul too!

Sorry- she sounds a bit mad- how was your DH blaming DN for anything- he was just explaining DS's behaviour!

You are moving this week? House is finished? Great news!