ugh my brother...

[juneybean]

It's a quiet christmas for us, my dad was on nights so spent alot of the day in bed, and my brother started work at 3pm.

So just me and my mum, I went downstairs at 6pm to find her crying. I asked her what was wrong and she said she didn't know what she had done wrong.

I asked her what she meant and she was referring to my brother who never visits her and she feels like she's done something to upset him.

I told her he was just being a man, and my dad is the same with his own mother and said it wasn't personal.

I just feel so sad for my mam, and I can't believe my brother couldn't spare 1/2 an hour to pop round at Christmas.

{{{{hugs}}}} to your mother. It is good that You are with her at this time for her. I think you told her the right thing FWIW, not making it something personal but just pointing to how things are. How often do you see your brother? Does he realise how your mum is feeling or is he just oblivious to it?

I actually live with my brother but went to my mums for the holidays. I think he probably doesn't realise, he's one of those people that doesn't like gatherings and shys away from family parties, thats just him, but it was only me and my mam, he could have made the effort :/

its pants when you can't spend a little time for a xmas visit - doesn't have to be on the day.

It was just my mum and brother with each other this Christmas -they popped over to see us for an hour or so but we have never had a Christmas just me, dh and the kids. My sis invited my mum and brother to hers but it's 150 miles away so they didn't go. Anyway, my brother didn't even get my mum a present!

Maybe he could come and see your mum with you another time when he does not feel" he should because it is Christmas" but on a less formal occasion. If you say he does not realise how hurt she is by it youshould have a quiet word with him, not blaiming him but making him more aware of it.

I bet she really appreciated you being there supporting her. Is it worth having a quiet, non accusatory word with your brother and ask him just to pop in for five minutes to make a fuss of her over the next couple of days?
I hate to think of gender stereotyping, but in this case I do think there is a definite trend. Guys in our family are exactly the same when it comes to initiative and family support.

Thanks for all the replies guys, I sent him a text last night and just said could he possibly pop round just to see her, I hope he does.

I know he's working hard though (policey man and all that!)