How to justify spending entire Christmas on Moldie threads to husband

[morningpaper]

ideas please before he calls a lawyer

She's peeling American Tan off her calves as we speak, ruty.

Onebat, it's Xmas which is a good excuse for burning shitloads of Xmas-scented candles to cover up the dead-mouse odours. Or if scented candles are contrary to household health and safety (ie inquisitive nippers who might immolate themselves) then make an internal apology to the ozone layer and grab some 'festive-scented' air fresheners.

I have a bunged-drain aroma in my house at the moment btw so I do extend sympathies and supportive spanks pats on the shoulder.

yes, that's a very good idea sgb. I had a scented candle, but I've misplaced it. IKEA tomorrow, I think.
Doesn't solve the mouse-runs-over-sleeping-guest's-face scenario though, sadly.

Tell guests house is haunted and that they have had an authentic metaphysical experience. Or that maybe they've got extra big active nits....

lol mouse giving wanker sign

a friend was saying yesterday that she went on holiday as a child and there was a constant scratching noise from the wall. Cottage owners said 'Gosh, d'you know there is a legend that the house is haunted?'. Rather than saying, 'yes, that's the rats.'

Urrh, rats. Rats swim up the bogpan and sniff one's ringpiece. Allegedly. It has happened to people I know. And they wouldn't have lied .

I do remember waking from blissful post-coital sleep many years ago to the sound of scratching and rampaging in allegedly haunted new-home-of-then-BF and waking him with shrieks of 'The Demons have got out of the cupboard!!!' and being informed that it was actually the cat. WHAT FARKING CAT? No one had told me there was one???

Anyway, spooks are a much more reassuring explanation for funny noises than rats or other wildlife. Because us rational folk know that there's no such things as spooks and will therefore decide we imagined it and go happily back to sleep...Whereas if we think it's beasties we will be hopping about itching and reaching for weapons all night.

all true.

I will never piss again, though, following the rats/loo revelation. I'm going to learn to do it standing up like Stella thingy the Drag King.

Night-o.

well I explained the whole thing to my 19 year old Au Pair. She understood completely.

get a cat, onebat, its the only reliable solution to mice. Not sure if your house is joined to others, but when we lived in a terraced house, if someone 3 houses down had mice, we all had them. Pesky little things.