affair, suicide, not sure what to say.

[helplease22]

My best friend's dh just told her 6 days before xmas that he's been seeing another woman for 10 months now. nothing physical all emotional so far. they both knew relationship was deteriorating but to find out he's been lying for nearly a year was a tough blow and all trust broken. they have kids... with each their own needs. he is still around says he still loves her and will support them completely financially. they dont yell and scream just talk - he's moving out in feb. I went to see her today - very upset, understandably so and talking about ending her life and doesnt know if she can carry on... I listened, but need some more advice on how to help her. i dont want to say the wrong thing but need her to take care of herself. she is barely eating and sleeping, physically deteriorating. im ultra concerned.

Your poor friend, you sound lovely for being so supportive.

Give her the Samaritans number 08457 909090, they are trained to help people who are feeling suicidal or despairing.

Is it his choice to go or has she said he has too?

Sorry to hear this especially at this time of year.

My mother committed suicide after finding out my step father was having an affair, he also stayed(just to sort himself out) My Mum was in a similar state to your friend and I honestly believe she took her life because my stepfather had not moved out ie there was an adult in the house.

Your friend needs support buther husband remaining present may not be the best thing, I agree she needs professional support and samaritans is the best bet.

Sorry if my story is morbid and not helpful, but thought I would give you my POV

If she's seriously suicidal she needs to see her GP to get some help, you can go with her and do the talking if she's worried she can't face it.

Sometimes the feeling of wanting to end it all is because she cant see what her future holds anymore.

Try to get her to concentrate on the present, not to look too far ahead as that is when I felt the worst. Just deal with each day as it comes.

It is an old saying but time does heal. Maybe not completely, but she will learn to deal with it. I know I have and I never thought I would.

And, just listen. She will really appreciate that.

You sound like such a nice person. Good Luck

Thanks everyone - she won't call samaritans or go to therapy/counseling. I know dh staying not best thing but they both decided it's best for the kids
They agreed mutually that he would stay until feb. I can't change her mind but I agree, him there will not make it easier in even the short term (although when he's around she does seem to do better) maybe because he's said he still loves her and is really there for her right now? But trust is gone, she is really struggling with that and how could he do that to her? Poor thing, I really just want to take some of the pain myself