if I do anything, will I make it worse?

[MuchLessTiredNow]

Have been Facebooking recently with a very old boyfriend (as in 15 years ago), whom I went out with for 6 whole weeks, but we called it quits v amicably and he and I went on to work together afterwards and came round to our house loads and is a friend of DH. Lost touch about 4 years ago when he emigrated, and he found me on FB. Have had about 5 chats on FB, when he was telling me he is regretting emigrating and things are going badly wrong with his girlfriend there who gave up everything to go with him. he was also telling me he was depressed and I was sharing my experience of depression with him.

Anyway, I got a message from him today saying his girlfriend had been on his FB and had told him not to talk to me anymore. Feel awful for him and her, but genuinely cannot see why - if she had read everything she would see it was friends talking, not anything dodgy. Do I try and message him to ask him to tell her that, or leave well alone?

I would send him a message saying, "I'm sorry to hear that as I thought we were becoming friends again. But the decision is yours. Good luck with everything."

ooh - good idea.... thank you

agree with deckthehalls

have been posts on here where poster is at dp discussing details of their relationship with other woman. Maybe that's what got her goat.

Hmm, toughie. I think if they are having problems, the idea of him discussing them with someone else (particularly a woman) will have been almost as upsetting for her as an online flirting session. I know there was nothing sexual in it at all, but I guess it's hurtful to think your partner is sharing intimate thoughts and feelings with someone else, particularly if you are having a rough time. I think you should back off and leave them to it, probably. If things resolve themselves one way or another , I'm sure he'll get back in touch eventually to let you know, and appreciates you were trying to help him.

ninah and bit, I think you're right - i have been asking myself all day if I would be upset if Dh had done it, and the answer was no. But then, old boyfriend is a bit of a girl, in that he had lots of female friends and woudl discuss his feelings as if he was one of us, and so to me, when talking about it, I could have been talking to a female friend or even on MN, if you get my drift. Ideally, I would want to reassure his girlfriend of that, but having read your posts, i think your approach is better.

what a complete woosy he sounds letting his gf snoop on his facebook and tell him off!

Leave him to his fate.
he will probably end up marrying her and being miserable for the rest of his life.

PS take what i say with a pinch of salt - can you tell I am on a complete downer today?

second - i agree - I did think about telling him to stand up to her - but it would have made it worse. I then posted a status update on FB telling her to calm down, but deleted it 2 seconds later...