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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

am i being a complete bitch

24 replies

Keane · 24/03/2005 16:37

my mum has nagged us to go down for weeks
so we are/were going down for a couple of nights, tonight and tommorrow. She is going out tonight for my grans birthday, we are not invited although it is a family do as we have kids. tommorrow night she is going to a party.

I dont want to go. i feel so angry, have done all week ask EVERYONE am i wrong for just not bothering

OP posts:
Keane · 24/03/2005 16:38

i actually mean going up to visit her

OP posts:
nutcracker · 24/03/2005 16:38

Hang on, she asked you to go but is gonna go out whilst you are there ????

Yorkiegirl · 24/03/2005 16:38

Message withdrawn

Freckle · 24/03/2005 16:39

Don't go. Why does she nag you to go only to disappear out for the evening?

Tell her you'll come and visit when her social diary isn't so full.

nutcracker · 24/03/2005 16:39

If thats right then i wouldn't go, whats the point if she isn't gonna be there. I'd tell her too.

coppertop · 24/03/2005 16:39

What's the point in going if she's not going to even be there? I wouldn't want to go either tbh.

Keane · 24/03/2005 16:41

so its not me then, even though evryone else said no its not. i just feel guilty for some reason

OP posts:
Keane · 24/03/2005 16:42

she never ever has the kids either i thought she could at least babysit for a night?

OP posts:
nutcracker · 24/03/2005 16:44

Nothing to feel guilty about imo. If anyone should feel guilty it's your mom i think.

tamum · 24/03/2005 16:45

No, you're being completely reasonable and anyway you could never be a bitch. Mwah.

Bugsy2 · 24/03/2005 16:48

ooooooooohhhhhh Keane, that is so annoying. Tell her that you'll go & visit her on another occasion when she is around a bit more!!!!

marthamoo · 24/03/2005 16:48

I thought you'd sounded fed up this week. I wouldn't go and I'd tell her why (not nastily - I would just say "there doesn't seem much point in coming if you're going to be out both nights - we thought we'd come another time instead, when you're less busy.")

Keane · 24/03/2005 16:55

what shall i say though, she will do the whole drama queen routine

OP posts:
Keane · 24/03/2005 16:56

she is uch a control freak

i am a big girl now, why cant i just be more assertive
i feel downtrodden

OP posts:
tamum · 24/03/2005 16:57

Just say that you'd like to reschedule for a time when you'll have a chance to spend more time with her and she's not so busy?

Bugsy2 · 24/03/2005 16:59

Play up the "we're really keen to see you, but it just seems a bit daft to come up when you are so busy".

Keane · 24/03/2005 17:07

and now my gran has just rang and said, i'l see you tommorrow

OP posts:
Keane · 24/03/2005 18:38

I still havent told her. Why do i feel so bad???

OP posts:
essbee · 24/03/2005 18:41

Message withdrawn

tamum · 24/03/2005 18:46

I bet you'll feel better once you've said it though, won't you? Could you come up with maybe two alternative weekends now, and give her the dates to choose from?

Keane · 24/03/2005 18:48

just spoke to my stepdad, he said not to worry.........I am not scread of my stepdad though!

OP posts:
Keane · 24/03/2005 18:49

scared i meant, lol
mum is still at work, i know she will go mad

OP posts:
HUNKERMUNKER · 24/03/2005 18:55

Ask her how she'd feel if she came to see you and you disappeared out for both nights. Then say that you will come, but only if she comes and babysits every night she's there.

I don't think you're being unreasonable at all xxxxxx

HUNKERMUNKER · 24/03/2005 18:56

I mean if she comes to stay with you another time and babysits for you.

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