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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

i think i know now why

6 replies

stressedsanta · 17/12/2008 14:09

my mum is so unhelpfull with me and my kids aswell as my other sisters and their kids.
had a phone conversation with her today shes been very down lately and her dog has just died,she admitted to me that since her dad died 5 yrs ago that she dicided to not love anyone as it hurts too much when they die.
im shocked and can see why now she cant find it in herself to help us when we so badly need it .it all makes sense .
its made me feel very sad

OP posts:
MadreInglese · 17/12/2008 14:10

would she consider bereavement counselling?

skidoodle · 17/12/2008 14:11

oh your poor mum, that is heartbreaking

what can you do to help her?

she needs to talk to her doctor about how she's feeling and get grief counselling and maybe meds. will she go, do you think?

Original poster
stressedsanta · 17/12/2008 14:20

i have told her to go to the gp but not sure if she will .she is one of those who leaves it until its really bad b4 doing anything about it.her dad dying affected her badly.
looking back i can see that her being like this did start back then ,she used to be more loving and helpful.
we can go weeks without talking.
she is very unhappy where she lives at the moment .her and dad have been there 30 yrs and there has been a housing development built right next to her house last year the construction nearly drove her insane.she feels that everything they worked hard for to have a nice home has all been a waste of time their house isnt worth a fraction to what it was b4 the new houses went up.

OP posts:
PatsyCline · 17/12/2008 14:26

Your poor mum. MY FIL does bereavement counselling for Cruse.

www.crusebereavementcare.org.uk/index.html

If your mum doesn't want to contact anyone for help, then you might well find some useful advice on the website or they have a helpline to call. A friend took this route and it did help her to help her mum IYSWIM.

Good luck. This must be very hard for you.

Patsy

MadreInglese · 17/12/2008 14:27

Perhaps admitting how she feels to you could be the first step towards her doing something about it....?

Original poster
stressedsanta · 17/12/2008 14:46

i am shocked really tbh she never talks about her feelings and when i have had depression shes one of those who thinks you can just talk yourself out of it.
at least i have an explaination as to why no help has been forth coming-it all makes sense now.
i hope she does get some help

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