Anyone ever have affair that stayed at just an affair?

[Confused08]

Without going into the wrongs and rights of affairs has anyone ever had one that just stayed as that?

I knew someone at work who was having a long standing affair with the boss and they were both happy it just being that. Both had children both claimed to love their respective wife/husband but both secretly loved the thrill of the weekly/monthly meet of their affair.

I also read an article in the paper about a woman who was having an affair but both parties knew it was just that and not something either of them wanted to lose their families over or ever get caught.

Thoughts?

I had an affair (much to my disbelief), we were both married and both had children. He was a work colleague, and still is. I got found out by my husband and finished it. It then started again (me and OM were very good friends) and before we knew it, it was back on full again. Again, got found out, this time I finished it for good and have not been back since. Had another baby with husband but he then decided he could not forgive me and left when she was 11 weeks old.

I still work with the OM (albeit on a different floor).

He is still married, although his children are now grown up (the affair was about 8 years ago).

When my husband left, I did go out with OM one night and he was more than willing to carry on as before, but I had lost everything over his and my behaviour and I was not going to put his wife through the anguish that I put my husband through.

From a selfish point of view, I really did not think my husband would be that 'bothered' (n my naivety).

When me and husband were trying to make a go of it, he told me that he felt no anger towards the OM because it was not the OM that had done this to him, it was me and I was his wife.

My husband (we now get on very well) always told me that he thought me and OM would end up together (he is 10 years older than me) but it was never going to be that sort of relationship.

The OM just provided something for me that was missing (not sure what) from my marriage but I didn't realise that actually my husband could give me everything I wanted if I had only communicated more.

I look back on the affair as the biggest mistake of my life (easy to say now, why couldn't I see that at the time) and I will pay for the price for the rest of my life for what I did to my husband and my children.

Bumblelion that is the best thread I have seen on here yet in response to the question and you ahve actually started to make me think about my behaviour and to end what I have with OM. Thanks! I am the one who is having my cake and eating it btw cos I wdon't want committment from OM. Why is it always the man that gets the crap?

My DH is 12 years older than me and OM is work colleague who I see everyday so in that way, it does make it tougher to end things and yes my DH found out but forgave me.

My DH found out and divorced me, I have no regrets over that, just for the fact that I have put him through such hell and i was too wrapped up in myself to even notice how much I had hurt him

Bumblelion - I am sorry that you see your affair as the biggest mistake of your life but I am sure there are many on here that would say that about ordinary relationships they have had that haven't worked out.

So 12 years on, what became of it all?

So my affair has just ended, although with us it's hard to tell as we have been here before.

He doesn't l want to leave because of his children and I'm now single so I should be looking for someone who can give me all the things he can't. But still, we can't stop talking and Covid has stopped us from meeting.

I don't regret the affair, and I didn't set out to fall in love, but I have.

I had an affair when I was just coming up 40, Exdh wasn't showing me attention, was miserable and grumpy all the time, practically worked FT and did everything in the house.

I was flattered by a man at my hobby, I didn't even really fancy him, but he showed me loads of attention, he was divorced. We had a 4 month fling, until someone emailed.my Exdh and we split for 8months, but still lived in the same house.

Gradually we came back together, which was the worst thing to do. We split again, no-one involved, 8yrs later.

I was so unhappy throughout my 29yrs marriage, I should have left 20yrs ago.