How to stay sane and survive living in the same house during divorce

[London7]

Hello there, can anybody PLEASE help me with how do I survive in the same house with my husband while we are divorcing? He can't stand the sight of me, doesn't talk to me and stayed with me only because of our kids. How do I not let him distroy me completely. I know he has been cheating on me for a long time so just seeing him at home makes the reality even harder...

Why does he have to stay? Your kid aren't benefitting from the seething mass of hate floating round the house you know? Kick the bugger out!

One of my first MN threads was about this situation London7 I sympathise, it is very hard. I survived mainly by knowing it was not forever. It was a bit too easy to feel like we were still together sometimes too, I stayed at my parents when I could too.

It is his property and I don't have the strength to fight anymore. I am moving out but am on maternity leave at the moment so waiting when I go back to work.

I agree if there is a way around it, make this bit as short as you can, it will probably all feel a lot clearer when you get some space from him.

I don't think you can, nor should you have to. He needs to move out.

blank him out. live your own life.
just phase him out
dont eat meals together
dont cook for him
dont launder his clothes
just dont engage.

How much longer do you have on maternity leave? I was exactly the same, just exhausted from all the fighting. Have you been to see citizens advice or the housing office?

sorry - x post

If you're married, it's not his property. Have you seen a solicitor about your rights? You shouldn't have to move out of the family home.

I don't care if it' HIS house. YOU can stay there with the kids, the courts would not make you move out and nor can he. He may not realise this - go see a solicitor and get some decent advice. You deserve better than this. Let him spend christmas with his girlfriend.

I hope your life gets better soon.

Is there any way you can make him leave and go to the other woman?
My parents lived together during their separation and it was hidious for my brother and I (worse for me as I was the oldest). It certainly messed me up. Please for your children's sake, try to find another solution.

You poor thing. I was in the same house as my ex for 10 months, thankfully no children. Sounds silly but he used our dog to emotionally mess with me and so I can't imagine what it must be like with kids.

You just have to grit your teeth and not allow him to dominate you. I know it's hard - I always tried to respect the fact that my ex was hurting (I ended it) and so I gave him a lot of leeway but in the end he was behaving so badly that I really had to distance myself.

If you are planning to move out before the divorce is finalised then start working on making that happen. I found being proactive was a godsend as it moved me forward and stopped me from starting to wonder if I had made the right decision.

god luck.