Meeting girlfriend's children

[GoodGuy]

I am an American and have met a wonderful English woman. It has only been three months and we have only spent one weekend together, but we've spoken by telephone every night since meeting, usually for an hour or two and have grown very close. I will be visiting again in a month and she wants me to meet her children (12 & 10 yo girls). I would love to meet them, but worry it may be too soon. I was married once before and adopted my ex's two children who are now grown (we stay in close contact). If things continue as they are going it is my intention to move to England and be with her and her family. I am very confident in our relationship, but do not want to do anything to jeapordize the happiness of her children. They see their father only once a month and he seems to have little interest in them. She feels very strongly that she knows her children and they are ready to meet me. I know she has told them about me. I know of the risk of hurting these children if our relationship does not work out, but what else should I be considering, particularly with the ages of these children? Thank you and I apologize for the long post.

I personally think that children meet lots of people who may not be in their lives forever (I guess this is your fear - them getting attached and then things not working out???) so as long as the nature of your involvement is such that they will not feel let down if you aren't around long, long term, then it is okay to develop a relationship with them.

The key must be to have a friendship with them that is not too deeply involved, not too close for some time but a valid and happy friendship nevertheless. They also need to see their Mother with a man who is respectful and supportive (in many ways including discipline) but who doesn't 'take over' or have too much responsibility just yet.

Does that make sense?

Thank you. Makes sense. It is a fine line, however, having a friendship that is not too close. Her mum and I both see us all going places and doing things together. How can I keep a distance under those circumstances? Yes, respectful and supportive are critical and I would be very careful not to overstep.

Bump