Im so fed up with my mum.......

[npg1]

Hi.

I am at my witts end with my mum at the moment. She is constantly picking faults with my house, food I buy, anything really and boasts about what she has. We have a very nice house and are doing very well for ourselves but it's almost like she tries to keep up with the 'Jones'"

She stayed over last night as my Brother flew over as me and him went to a funeral yesterday so I wasnt in the best of moods when I got home to her comments. Put my tree up in the week, a 6ft thing which i like very much and she commented 3 times how her's is 3 times bigger than mine.Comments like This happens every time she comes over and I am going to blow my top soon.

The thing is aswell is they spend so much and everything is on finance, just brought a new BMW so she thinks its great. One of her friends has loads of money and a great lifestyle and I think she tries to copy her.

I really dont know if I should say anything because she obviously doesnt know she is doing it but I dont know how or what to say. I am being to dread seeing her. Please dont judge me from this!

Oh and even my brother couldnt believe what she was like!

Has she always been like this?

I try to let comments from my family I don't agree with just wash over me, I don't always succeed, yanbu to be upset, but is it worth having an argument about?

When my mil anyone tries to sh*t on my cornflakes, I try to find the nicest, most positive reply, don't let them have the satisfaction of knowing that they annoy the hell out of you. MUCH easier said than done I know. I have had a lot of practice at this technique

Eg. the xmas tree comment....say something like "oh wow, that's nice, I'll need to come around and see it, I bet it is lovely". Be the bigger person even if you feel like going mental

My MIL say's stuff like that all the time..."oh why don't you get this, such and such has that new thing...blah, blah..." (cos in her very small mind you HAVE to be better than anyone else, yuck yuck) I usually say "that's nice but we're not really bothered about the Jones', our such and such is just fine, but thanks for the suggestion anyway" and smile my sweetest smile.

It ain't easy tho

She has a 36 foot Xmas tree?????
How DID she get the fairy on top?

Just feel sorry for her, she can't see any value system other than money and buying things.
She is probably a very unhappy person.
You have to accept her inner crapness.

My brother is one of those "I could have got it quicker/cheaper/better" type people who refers to my home as a hovel (it's a 4 bed 30's semi) so he can extol the virtue of his choice of house (a converted barn with 10 acres that is slowly bankrupting him)

Thanks everyone for replying.

Many years ago she wasnt like this but now she is. Like I said earlier, she met this friend and at first I thought the way she acted she was jelous of me, which she probably is to some extent but in other ways i am jelous of her as they constantly buy but are in so much debt and at least we are not in debt and only buy nice things when we know we have the money there.

I do except her comments, occasionally I will shoot something back at her sarcastically but now it is just eating me up and annoying me. I know I am the bigger person because I just let it go but everything she does has to be bigger and better!

My mum is like this - last Sunday she went on about how Rich she was and I had to bite my lip. We used to be well off, but mum and dad divorced and my mum just kept remortgaging the house. She is 62 with a £250k mortgage (intrest only) and about 100k worth of other debt. SHe can be nasty about it, my house is tiny (all we could afford) and she has been known to call me lower working class etc. etc. and how upper middle class she is and hhow many friends she has, and I have none and not to let anyone know about my depression as i'll have the DC taken away as I am a young mum and I live in a small house and it's not fullt decorated yet, unlike her house. I could go on... I just let it wash over me, it obviously comes from a very uphappy place. I know she will never find another partner as her attitude sucks - she joined a dating website and was sent details of a man who lived in a rented house and she emailed the site saying she didn't want council estate people. Urgh, anyway, IME it comes from being deeply unhappy (I am telling myself).