If you have left a violent partner, how much did you put up with first?

[cantpickyourfamily]

My exp has been violent a few times, a few months ago I called the police but did not have many bruises so they decided to take it to court.

He slowly got his way back into my life and we slept together a few times but we were not fully back together. But we deceded to go to counselling to see if there is hope for us as a couple.

We had planned to go on holiday with our 17month old dd for xmas, but we were not getting onb very well. So he said he was not going to come and would not pay me the £600 for the holiday that I paid. Then changed his mind and said he would come. But I didn't want him to come as he would ruin the holiday for me and dd.

So I called him last night saying I was going to cancell his ticket. Then he started to say he is going to kill me. Then he came to my home and smashed the glass door. I had to pay £120 to get it boarded for the night and another £100 for some glass to fix it.

Now I know I cannot be with him, but I am worried that I will change my mind again, I know I need to be strong, but it is so hard.

The most important thing is he cannot do this again as I have dd so it is not just me he is hurting....

I think you know what decision you have made and have to make. Can you contact your local womens aid for advice?

yes, please contact woman's aid immediately? Do you have anyone around to give you support?

I have already made the decision, and I know I cannot go back on it this time, but I just have to stay strong.

I will try to contact them for advice. I have got my sister and her husband that are very supportive but that is about it really.

I don't really like to tell people my business.

Call Women's Aid for support, and don't be worried about telling them - they've heard it all before and should be able to help. I was a battered child and grew up a damaged adult - because my mum wouldn't tell people her business. If he threatens or touches you again report it to the police - the evidence will build up. In fact, have you called the police about last night? IMHO - I would.

I put up with it for 7 years, it gradually built up over the time, until he tried to strangle me.... I never reported anything till the end.

Go to the police about your door and make a statement including all previous DV incidents. Contact your local DV organisation.

Good luck

i have reported it to the police and they said they would arrest him, but they have n ot got back to me to tell me what is going on yet.