Does anyone else get the silent treatment after a night out on your own?

[TheYearOfTheCat]

I went to my work Christmas do yesterday. Got quite merry, back home by 10pm and chatted happily with my DH before going to bed.

Despite feeling a little worse for wear this morning, I got up with my DD at 7.30, gave her breakfast, got all the schoolbags ready and let my DH have a lie in until 8.30.

So why is my DH giving me the passive aggressive silent treatment? He won't answer me, or if he does, it is in a wounded, martyred whisper .

When I have asked what's wrong with him, he says nothing, it's not him, but that I am like a bear with a sore head. The thing is, that I wasn't, but now I really am pissed off. He left the house without saying goodbye.

He does this every time I go out on my own. He is happy for me to go out (and it is a pretty rare occurrence), but he always punishes me the next day with this behaviour, and tries to say that I am the one with the problem.

Grrrrr.

ignore hm..he's being a prick

next time you arrange a night out tell him in advance that you are looking forward to and full expecting his martyr routine so please don't let you down!!

Home by 10pm and getting the silent treatment - that sucks It's not something you can sort out unless he can talk to you - obviously he has some sort of insecurity but you should still be able to have a night out without consequences for goodness sake!

Not sure if he needs a kick up the ass or a good dose of reassurance? A bit of both?

Why did you let your DH have a lie in - surely the night out also gives you an hour in the morning - that's the way we work it?
You Dh is being a numpty. Video him the next time and show him how very unattractive sulking is.
Take it easy today - have you tried Berrocca? a vitamin and B group rich drink. it's great to get yourself going after a few too many.

Maybe he is jealous - does he have a work xmas do to go on too?

My dh, though not quite as stroppy as yours, is very similar. I've come to the conclusion he doesn't like being left without a grown-up.

I work some evenings and if I'm out he'll put the boys to bed and go to bed himself (at 7.30!) He obviously doesn't like his own company

Zazen, I got up with DD because I know that DH always behaves like this - one is not allowed to lie in bed with a hangover.

I thought getting up and giving him a lie in would placate things a bit. It didn't.

His do is tonight, but he is not going to it, because he doesn't want to go.

There could be a fair bit of jealousy. He doesn't really go out very often on his own, as most of his friends live quite far away. But he stays with them when he is away on work trips, and also organises a few 'boys' weekends through the year.

My friend gets the silent treatment for a week. On the very rare occasion that she has come out on a girls night (and I'm talking once in the last 3 years), she paid a huge price for it with sulks and silent treatment lasting days. I wish she had confronted him years ago and told him to get used to the fact that she was entitled to the odd night out on her own and he had better get used to it. You need to do the same thing otherwise you'll get so worn down by his sulks and silent treatment that you'll just not bother anymore.

It is piss-poor behaviour on his part and he needs to get over himself.

FFS.

Sounds pathetic. He needs to grow up. If my DH behaved like this I'd tell him that to his face. Cannot tolerate adults behaving like toddlers.

Bloody Hell! He sounds a bit insecure. No, he sounds very insecure.

My Dh used to try the silent treatment on me after arguments, but I cured it... will have to remember what I did... Ah, yes: the last time he did it, I completely ignored it and just wafted round the house, humming merrily to myself like I was the happiest, most content woman alive. La-la-la, look at me, I'm SOO happy, etc. I rang friends and was all cheerful, played with the kids, smiled. All the while, DH prowled round fuming.

The next day, he took the morning off work (!) to instigate a chat about what was bothering him. He needed to talk about things but because I wasn't the one giving him an opener i.e, I wasn't asking him, "What's wrong?" he had to.

He hasn't tried the silent treatment since.

Does he never go out on his own and have a hangover the next day?

If so I have some sympathy (though not much) for him. Otherwise he is being a twat. I hate that passive-aggressive thing. My DH had it down to a fine art

Beautiful's advice is spot on. Pretend you haven't noticed a thing, and do not ask what's wrong etc. Let him stew till he is ready to behave like an adult. Oh, and I think you need more nights out with the girls, so he has a chance to get used to it!

Thanks all - I know that Beautiful's advice is right, but I'm useless at ignoring that sort of thing - I completely play into his hands!

The thing that really pisses me off, is he completely denies he has a problem, then tries to turn it round by saying that I am in a strop - and it then becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. GRRRRRRRRR!

Ok. From now on my mantra will be;

Ignore, Deep breathe, smile, ignore

Ignore, Deep breathe, smile, ignore

Ignore, Deep breathe, smile, ignore

I don't know what I'm more about. The fact that he's being a prick, or that you were home by 10pm on a night out

Seriously - ignore him. Don't ask if there's anything wrong. Act like you normally do.